The Spring Equinox Dance
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: After an academic meeting with Goodwitch discussing his poor grades, Jaune contemplates leaving Beacon. However, Ozpin offers him a chance to prove his worthiness to stay enrolled. Jaune must overcome his challenge by the Spring Equinox. Obstacles from teammates to former friends threaten his task: capturing the most dangerous of hunts, a date to the school dance.
1. Jaune's Life

**The Spring Equinox Dance**

**RWBY**

_**Chapter One**_

_**Jaune's Life**_

**Genre : **_Romance/Humor_

**Summary : **_After an academic meeting with Goodwitch his poor grades, Jaune contemplates leaving Beacon. However, Ozpin offers him a chance to prove his worthiness to stay enrolled. Jaune must overcome his challenge by the Spring Equinox. Obstacles from teammates to former friends threaten his task: capturing the most dangerous of hunts, a date to the school dance._

* * *

Every so often at Beacon, each student is scheduled a meeting with the appropriate academic adviser. The stated purpose was so that students are given an opportunity to discuss their performance as aspiring hunters and huntresses and ways to improve their craft of Grimm-slaying. For Jaune, it was going to be an hour of Miss Goodwitch chewing him out for his grades.

Goodwitch sat behind a desk with her back to the window reviewing Jaune's transcript.

"A C in the _History of Flora and Fauna of Remnant_... comments, '_While Jaune Arc displays potential with regards to identification and collection of herbs, he demonstrates repeatedly poor handling of the specimens. Allergic reactions from pollinating plants have caused repeated destruction of his and other students samples.'_"

"Something about spring just bugs my nose."

Goodwitch decided to move on and looked at the next item.

"Ah yes. F in _Home Economics._ Unsurprising."

"Hey! I said I was sorry about the fire!"

"Please tell me in what realm of reality does pouring a milk into a bowl of Pumpkin Pete's cereal result in the aforementioned bowl of cereal spontaneously bursting into flames?"

"People fly from shooting their guns and you want to talk _physics_?"

Goodwitch checked Jaune's transcript. "Not bad. B-" Goodwitch appeared genuinely impressed.

Jaune looked confused.

"We have a physics class?" Goodwitch sighed.

"No Mister Arc. The physics class does not exist. It was a joke." Placing down the transcripts and comments, Goodwitch raised her glasses and leaned closer to Jaune."Mister Arc... do you believe you are meant to be here? Truly?" Rising from her seat, Goodwitch did not wait for an answer and approached a row of busts lined alongside her office. "Do you know who these people are, Mister Arc?" A moment of thoughtful silence.

"... I'm gonna have to go with a solid '_no_'."

"These statues are master huntsmen and huntresses from ages past. Each one a legend in their own right and has done much to secure peace for the Vale." Goodwitch stopped at a particular bust. "There is a master huntsman I'd like you see."

Jaune rose from his seat. Approaching the bronze bust, Jaune was surprised at who he saw.

"Is that... _me_?"

"Do you know who he is?"

"A time traveling future-me?" Goodwitch raised a palm and brought it to her face.

"That is your grandfather, Mister Arc," said Goodwitch with a slap with her riding crop onto Jaune's head.

"_Ow_!"

Goodwitch continued looking at the bust. "The Arc family has produced a long lineage of hunters and huntresses. Their contribution to the history of Vale is not to be understated. While I am loathed to enable any sort of favoritism due to family legacies, Headmaster Ozpin sees something in you."

Jaune rubbed his head and looked at his grandfather and said in a low voice, "all I see is a failure."

Goodwitch made no reply.

"You are the last of my appointments today, Mister Arc. Feel free to contemplate your future here at Beacon for as long as you'd like. If you feel the need to inform me of any changes to your enrollment, you may find me at the headmaster's office."

Goodwitch departed.

Some time later the door opened.

"Confirming my suspicions you are still here," said Headmaster Ozpin as he entered the office. "There you are."

It was just past noon, yet the sky was dark with rainy clouds forming. Jaune looked to the headmaster, a pair of coffees in hand, and looked back to his grandfather's bust. Handing Jaune a coffee, Ozpin looked upon the bust of Jaune's grandfather.

"Ah, the patriarch of the Arc family," said Ozpin. "He must be proud his grandson has enrolled in a prestigious institution."

"Headmaster... there's something you have to know."

"Hm? Oh yes. You've found a partner for the Spring Equinox Dance? I heard it will be an entertaining time."

"Uh... No... but listen, headmaster." Jaune looked to the darkness of the coffee for guidance. "I... I don't belong here. I got some fake transcripts and used them to get into Beacon. I'm not who you think I am and I'm not as good as anyone thinks... I'm just a failure."

Ozpin took a sip of his coffee. "Go on."

"That's... about it. I don't belong here."

"Oh. But you do."

"But I lied."

"I know."

"So you've knew I lied about my transcripts but you still let me enroll?"

"Yep," said Ozpin with a sip.

"Why?"

"'_It takes a village to raise children but I suppose every village needs its idiot._'"

"Ouch."

"...is how miss Goodwitch replied, after I informed her of your circumstances," said Ozpin. "She was furious at the thought that someone with your background enrolled at Beacon. However, after some time reflecting, she decided it would be best if you had the opportunity to stay. Conditionally, of course."

"I can't believe she said that about me."

"Do not think yourself so lucky, Mister Arc. Your enrollment is still conditional upon my grace and mercy." Taking a sip, Headmaster Ozpin walked to the window situated behind the desk. "What do you believe is the goal of education?"

Jaune thought for a moment. What did his parents always begged of him? "To get good grades?"

Ozpin chuckled. "I suppose that's to be expected. What do you think is the goal of Beacon?"

"To train hunters and huntresses."

"Naturally. But to hunt what?"

"The Grimm. Right?"

"Hunters must hunt whatever it is that is tasked of them." Taking a sip, Ozpin looked out into lamp-lit gardens of Beacon. "There may come a time when your enemies are not simply monsters but beasts, criminals, other humans. Family. Friends. Even those closest to your heart."

"H-headmaster?"

"So I propose to you, Mister Arc that your enrollment at Beacon be determined by the test of a _true_ hunter. One which every single one of your ancestors has bravely achieved time and time again. You, Mister Arc, will hunt for the most _unpredictable_, the most _unstable_, the most _uncompromising_ prey of them all..."

Jaune gulped. "Which is...?"

Ozpin took a sip and looked out to the darkness of the sky. A roar of thunder resounded.

"_Teenage girls_."

* * *

It was late afternoon when Jaune asked Ren to join him for a lunch conversation.

"Just for my personal clarification, so I'm not misunderstanding or misheard anything...," Ren began. "You had your academic meeting this morning and Ozpin knows you used false transcripts to enter Beacon. Instead of expelling you outright, they decided to let you have a chance. This chance being fulfilling a certain hunt. This hunt being..."

Jaune grumbled, "I'm as boned as a fish."

"...a hunt for a date to the school dance."

"Boned." Jaune buried his face into his palms. "So utterly boned."

"It sounds completely do-able. The Spring Dance is still a long ways off. You'll find a date by then."

"You don't understand! It's a date, Ren! A date! As in, a female and a male meeting with romantic intent that begins a relationship that could possibly last an entire lifetime and lead to marriage and a wedding with a family and kids and family legacy and the Arc name being passed off from one generation to the next..."

Ren looked at Jaune.

"Whoa there, buddy. Calm down. It's just a date. It's like you're looking for a life partner." Ren rubbed his chin. "But now that you mention it, Nora did always keep bringing up how she wanted a shotgun wedding. She kept saying there's something romantic about two people blasting shells into the sky."

Jaune continued mumbling his impending expulsion to chicken and dumplings.

"It's just that, my dad married the the girl he took to his school dances and so did my granddad and his dad before him and stuff..." Jaune groaned. "My dad said all girls want is confidence but all I get are slaps in the face."

Ren shrugged. "It was a different time. People were going off to war not sure if they'd ever come back. Marrying young and quick was the thing. You don't have to be so old fashioned and stick to what your parents and grandparents have done." Jaune shook his head.

"I can't... oh man, what am I going to do... I know I flirt with girls all the time but deep down I knew they'd reject me. Seriously, I don't know what I would do if a girl says yes and now when I actually need her to say yes I have no idea how to go about it." Jaune banged his head onto the table.

"The solution is obvious. Explain your situation and I'm sure anyone of the girls would help you out."

"No no no man. I can't do that. It'd be pitiful."

"I'd rather be pitied than expelled."

"Well you aren't me!"

Ren jumped back. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize how much this is affecting you." Ren thought through possible solutions. "Well is there anyone you like in particular who you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with?"

Jaune groaned.

"I have trouble picking out which pair of jeans to wear in the morning and now I'm deciding my entire life future." Ren furrowed his nose. Jaune has sixteen sets of the exact same jeans, down to the faded left knee rip. "Why does this have to be so hard?"

"It's not. It's just a dance." Ren watched Jaune groan again drop his face to the table. "Okay, how about Pyrrha?"

"What about her?" Jaune mumbled, his mouth pressed against the table.

"You can try asking her out."

Jaune's head shot up. "She's out of my league. She's strong. She's aces every test. She's got great legs and a cute face. She slaughters Grimms by the hundreds and saved me more times than I can count." Jaune shrunk into the lunch bench. "I'm just not worthy of a girl who was on the cover of a cereal box..."

"There's Weiss, I guess," suggested Ren.

"Yeah... Maybe you're right, Ren. Snow Angel definitely seems more in my league..."

Ren brought a hand to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose. The average mind will have difficulty comprehending how being on a cereal box makes one out of their league but not a girl who is heiress to the largest, most powerful company in the world that controls the lifeline of every kingdom's economies.

"Sorry I haven't been much more help," Ren finally said.

"It's not your fault, Ren. I just... don't know what to do. I mean, how do you do it with Nora?"

"Do what with Nora?"

"You know... do _that_."

"I'm not following."

"Oh come on. I hear you guys going at it every night."

Ren paused for a moment. "I'm afraid to ask what you think is going on."

"Talking! Talking, Ren! How do you talk to girls?"

"You talk to girls all the time. You talk to an entire team full of girls. Half of our team are girls. You talk to them just fine."

"Yeah, I talk to them as friends. But how do I woo them like you do with Nora?"

"Woo...?" Ren twitched his nose at the old-fashioned term.

"You know! Impress! Interlope! Instigate!"

"Your vocabulary is difficult to follow."

"Can't do it. I just can't do it. Girls are live on Atlas and I'm off floating on a moon shard choking on my own cowardice. I can't ever do what you and Nora do. It's too embarrassing. I can't ever do that... I mean it feels like I'm-" A cry interrupted Juane.

"Please! Stop it! That hurts!"

Cardin laughed as he pulled on the ears of a brown bunny-eared faunus. "Guess they're still real today," Cardin mocked. "I guess you save a lot of time for costume parties, huh?"

"That's terrible," said Ren.

"I know. That last insult was bad," said Jaune. "Man. She must have it rough and now with Cardin getting on her case..."

"Someone should do something about," said Ren. Something definitely not me, he thought.

"You're right... Man. Be right back." Jaune stood up. "I'll go tell him to stop."

"Jaune..." Ren was about to stop Jaune but then decided against it. This might be a good opportunity for Jaune to vent off some steam from this mess, Ren thought. Looking down at his plate, a realization dawned on Ren. He could finally eat his sandwich.

"Lay off her, Cardin," said Jaune as he approached.

"What did you say, dunce?"

The confrontation between the two had captured the attention of the cafeteria. Tall and bulky, Cardin still found it difficult to accept humility with grace. His grip was tight on the girl's ears. Jaune gave her an apologetic look. Cardin wasn't going to let go easily.

"You heard me..." Jaune mumbled taking a step back. "Yeah! You heard me! Lay off her!"

"Uh... who are you again?"

"Huh?"

Cardin released the bunny girl's ear. Scratching his head he turned to Jaune. "Was your name, doofus?"

"No..."

"Oh? Maybe it's idiot."

"Maybe. Look, Cardin-"

"Now I remember! Your name is the _Most Embarrassing Shame of the Arc Fam_-"

Cardin was interrupted by a roasted chicken to the face. Dazed, Cardin stumbled backwards before he was tackled onto the floor by an enraged Jaune Arc armed with a roast chicken. The stress of the previous night made Jaune's heartbeat quicken.

"Look at me."

"Get off," Cardin mumbled, still dazed by the strike.

"Look at me!" Jaune straddled a top Cardin, a whole roasted chicken in his hand and the other arm pinned Cardin's neck to the floor. Jaune leaned close, his breath smelled of burnt dumplings and grape drank, and told Cardin, "say my name."

"Wha...what?"

A whole roasted chicken slammed into Cardin's face.

"Say. My. Name."

"What..."

The chicken splattered into white meat and bone.

"Is my name 'What'? Do you hear Professor Port check attendance for a 'Mister What'?" Jaune grabbed a fish and whacked it across Cardin's face. Jaune huffed up his voice in imitation. "Oh it appears Mister What has taken another day of absence. Ho ho ho. Let me continue to rant on about my glory days over a century ago." _Whack._ "You see here, is a fine specimen of river Grimm called the Cardin-beater." _Whack._ "Cardin-type Grimms are well known for being pathetic." _Whack._ "Arrogant." _Whack._ "Pieces of unwashed, unwanted, uncivilized doo doo heads!"

_Whack. Whack. Whack._

"Stop... please..."

The irony was that moments before, Cardin had held a girl by ear who begged him to stop. Jaune, armed with a fish, was now a top of Cardin who begged the same from Jaune. Jaune did his best not to smile, however much he knew he was going to enjoy this.

"But let me repeat the question," Jaunce exclaimed to the audience of the cafeteria, like a gladiator in the arena. "Can. You. Say. My. Name?"

"Mister Jaune Arc!"

"Yeah thanks," Jaune looked up from Cardin. "But I was hoping he... would..."

Jaune dropped the fish and stared into the eyes of Glynda Goodwitch.

A quick wave of her riding crop restored the food back to the tables before collecting the parties involved with this incident and bringing them to her office.

"I want a full explanation," said Goodwitch as she stared down the three students seated before her desk. "_Now_."

"Cardin started it," said Jaune pointing at Cardin.

"Arc went ballistic for no reason," said Cardin pointing at Jaune.

"No reason? You were being a jerk!"

"I was just playing around. Not beating people to death."

Cardin fumed. His face was red while his hair was sticky with chicken bits and fish scales. Goodwitch sighed. The two biggest troublemakers of the year never fail to disappoint her. She smacked her riding crop on both her heads giving each of them a bump. She turned towards the third and final person in her office.

"Well, Miss Scarlatina?" Goodwitch crossed her arms. "Care to tell your side of the story?"

"Um... ah... You see..." The girl looked to Cardin then glanced nervously towards Jaune. "Never mind..." Goodwitch sighed and lightly tapped the girl on the top of her head, causing the girl to squeak, "owie!"

"Miss Scarlatina. Mister Winchester. Both of you are dismissed." Goodwitch opened the door. The girl hurried her way out and Cardin strolled, giving a quick shove to Jaune before reaching the door. "And Mister Winchester... if I hear another report of bullying be sure to expect severe repercussions," said Goodwitch as she closed the door on a growling Cardin.

Turning around, Goodwitch returned to her desk. Jaune sat fidgeting.

"So... am I off the hook too?"

"Mister Arc," said Goodwitch as she looked out the window. "Do you exist to cause me grief?"

"No? I mean, Cardin was being rude and stuff... but..." Jaune sighed. "I know what I did was out of line and I shouldn't resort to violence unless absolutely necessary. But I'm not apologizing to Cardin. So..." Jaune clenched his fist. "So expel me if you have to!"

After a glance, Goodwitch returned back to looking out the window.

"On the contrary, Mister Arc. I applaud your actions."

"Really?"

"You are incredibly inept at studying."

"Ouch."

"You lack skill in fighting."

"Double ouch."

"And you've the thinking and mannerisms of a simple-minded buffoon."

"Please. Stop. I'm dead," said Jaune as he felt the hits keep coming. He covered his face in shame.

"But you know right from wrong. And that's something we at Beacon cannot teach."

"Huh?" Jaune peaked an eye out between his fingers.

"Although slapping Cardin silly with poultry was uncalled for. The entire cafeteria can vouch for you defending Miss Scarlatina. So I will not punish you for that. However, attacking another student was indeed out of line."

"So... I'm not going to be expelled?"

"I believe Headmaster Ozpin will be deciding that fate depending on the success or failure of your hunt. Although he insists the details remain confidential, he will inform me of the results after the school dance which I presume is the deadline."

"Uh... yeah... school dance... deadline for that hunt. I'm on it."

Goodwitch leaned towards Jaune, her hair hung low in front of his face and he stared into her green eyes. Jaune could smell sweet perfume which made him think of fresh strawberries by a babbling brook. Her breath was warm. Her eyes were intense as Jaune slowly became mesmerized and instinctively leaned closer.

"Good. See to it you keep your vigilance," said Goodwitch moving her face away from Jaune's. Straightening herself, she returned to her desk and withdrew a piece of paper. "This is your appropriate punishment. I believe you will find it a relief in comparison to expulsion."

"I'm going to guess suspension with a side of corporal punishment via riding crop."

"Not quite."

"Detention in the isolation tank?"

"Cleaning duties, Mister Arc," said Goodwitch handing Jaunce the paper. "It just so happens that the cleaning robots are undergoing scheduled maintenance. I want the chalkboards washed, floors swept and windows gleaming, Mister Arc. Is that clear?"

Jaune looked at the list of chores. A far cry from his expected expulsion.

"Getting right on it now, Miss Goodwitch," said Jaune with a salute as he exited the office. Before closing the door completely, Jaune peaked his head in. "And, uh, thanks... for the slap on the wrist."

As Jaune closed the door, Goodwitch leaned back into her chair with a smile.

Humming a tune, Jaune scrubbed the chalkboard with a sponge. The bucket was rusty and filled with soapy water.

It was early afternoon as Jaune decided to get his punishment done and over with after leaving Goodwitch's office. It had taken a while to locate the cleaning supplies as most of the staff weren't aware they possessed any actual cleaning supplies. However, after following a map through storage rooms and brushing away blankets of cobwebs, Jaune found the necessary equipment: yellow sponge with rusty grey bucket. Classic.

Finding a classroom with no classes scheduled for the day, Jaune began his cleaning adventures there.

Humming along his merry tune, Jaune did not notice he was not alone in the classroom.

Behind Jaune, a pair of brown bunny ears were bent slightly in his direction.

"Excuse me..."

Jaune shrieked.

The sponge in his hand flew into the air as Jaune jumped. As Jaune calmed down and turned to face Velvet, the sponge landed flatly on his head. Soap began to drip down his hair smelling of chalk and dust. Looking at the person who startled him, Jaune removed the sponge from his head and tossed it into the bucket.

"Please." Jaune breathed in deeply. "Please don't do that," said Jaunce. "I'm not so hot with surprises."

"I can see that," giggled the girl. "Jaune, correct? I'm Velvet Scarlatina."

"Oh. You're in that one class with me..."

"Yes... I am," said Velvet with a smile. "You also helped me out a lot today with Cardin. I appreciate it. Thank you."

"I didn't do much."

"You slapped him around with a chicken until he started sobbing like a child begging for his mother."

"He did?"

Velvet put a finger to her lips and whispered a hush. "Tell a lie long and hard enough and people start to believe it. I'm hoping this one sticks with all the rumors flying about." Velvet brought her hands behind her and walked to the bucket off to the side. "I thought for sure you'd be expelled... I heard you were on your last legs academically."

"Lucked out. Just got cleaning duty." Jaune walked to the bucket and picked up a sponge. "I should be expelled for beating up another student, though."

"Do you clean often?" Velvet watched as Jaune squeezed out the sponge before applying soap.

"My granddad makes me clean. I'm used to it. Plus he's scared of robots. He doesn't trust anything you can't stick a sword into and blood and guts don't come out." Jaune scrubbed the unwashed section of the board. "And since my parents told me to do whatever my granddad said, I just ended up doing chores. Polishing armor. Washing windows. Sweeping."

"Your grandfather doesn't sound the same as the one in the stories."

"You know about my grandfather?"

"Light reading in the library."

"Figures. They've got entire novels written on him and my dad. And my uncles. And aunt. And cousins..."

"Your mom also wrote a cookbook!"

"Wrote it? More like she said things and I wrote it down," Jaune grumbled. "You know how many recipes of rose-apple pies she had? One! You know how many she made up for that book? Seventy-two. Seventy-two variations of the same rose-apple pies except with a dash of blueberry extract or chocolate syrup swirl for that finish. It's so easy to write things when all you have to do is ramble for an hour and have your son copy down your ramblings..."

"Were the pies good though?"

"...yeah."

Velvet laughed before pausing thoughtfully.

"Can I have your autograph?"

"Huh?"

Velvet coughed to clear up her voice before repeating, "Can. I. Have. Your-"

"No no no. I heard you. I just... what? Really? Um... Why?"

"You wrote a cookbook. Technically anyways. I think I have a limited edition somewhere..." Velvet fumbled through her thoughts as she traced a mental image of her room with her fingers. "Was it in the blue trunk or the red trunk... Or maybe I left it at home."

"I mean, sure I technically wrote it but-"

Velvet waved her hand in front of Jaune. "I'd still like the autograph. It'd be very special to me," said Velvet with a smile.

Jaune looked at that smile and felt the need to protect it.

"Okay."

Jaune went back to washing the chalkboard while Velvet sat on the lecturer desk and dangled her feet in the air while he cleaned.

Sometime later, when night came and Jaune was done with the cleaning. He returned the supplies and reported to Goodwitch. All the while, he was accompanied by Velvet. She sat outside of Goodwitch's office on a low wall and dangled her feet. Jaune exited the office and took a stretch before noticing Velvet.

"You didn't have to."

"I wanted to." Velvet looked to the starry sky. "It's dark. I have a phobia of being attacked by Grimm at night. May I ask you the favor of escorting me to my dorm?"

"Sure but I'm not much use in a fight."

Velvet giggled. "Then we'll just have to run far away!" Velvet began pulling Jaune towards the direction of her dorm. As their pace slowed, her fingers were still gently tugged on Jaune's sleeve. The pair passed the lamps and lawns until they reached the entrance of Velvet's dorm building. Velvet took a few steps up the stairs before pausing, looking back at Jaune.

"Well, there you are," said Jaune. "If you need anything else I'm always that blonde kid getting Fs on tests." Jaune stepped back slowly, waving, as he began to make his way towards his dorm building.

"Juane," Velvet called out. Velvet's ears twitched before they hung low. "If... If you'd like..."

"Hm?" Juane turned around.

"...I could tutor you," Velvet offered in a low voice.

"That sounds great!" Jaune ran up the steps and grabbed Velvet's hands. "Oh god. Everyone else gave up on me but not you!"

Juane bowed so low, he didn't realize how red Velvet had become.

"Of course," said Velvet. "Anytime."

"Oh this great," said Jaune, tears in his eyes. "Finally someone is willing to-Ow! Ow! Argh! Stop! Let go! Mercy! Mercy please!"

Pyrrha held Jaune's ear in a death grip.

"Jaune, where have you been all day?" Pyrrha asked with a tone of annoyance.

"Cleaning! It's my punishment for that fight with Cardin this morning! Please let go! Please!"

Pyrrha looked at Velvet who stood atop the steps. Velvet's ears were high and alert but she smiled. Pyrrha forced a smile back. "I'm going to be taking my Captain back now… Miss…"

"Velvet Scarlatina. But you may call me Velvet, Miss Pyrrha Nikos."

"Have we met?" Pyrrha tightened her grip on Jaune's ear, causing him to whimper on his knees.

"Nope. But I do like reading up on things of interest to me," said Velvet as she skipped down the steps. "Pyrrha Nikos of Sanctum. Top of her class and Mistral Regional Champion four years in a row. People say you may be one of the greatest huntresses of our time in the making."

"She's also on the cover of Pumpkin Pete's Marshmallow Flakes box!" Velvet giggled at Jaune's comment. "Ow!" Pyrrha tightened her grip on Jaune's ear to silence him.

"I didn't know you were a fan of mine."

"My interests lay elsewhere, Miss Nikos."

"Just Pyrrha is fine." Pyrrha began tugging Jaune towards their dorm. "Now if you may excuse us, my captain has some explaining to do for his team on how he should inform us of his whereabouts in case of emergency."

"Don't be so hard on him. I occupied him afterall."

"I'll keep that in mind," said Pyrrha as turned to walk away with Jaune in tow. "Come Jaune. We are going to have a training session."

"What? Now? B-but...Ow! Okay okay!"

Velvet placed a hand over her chest as she watched the pair depart. She took a deep breath before shouting, "Good night Pyrrha. Good night Jaune!"

"Night Velvet! Ow! Ow! Pyrrha ease up, please... Ow!"

As Pyrrha tugged Jaune away, Velvet had a smile that gave a hint of her true feelings.

* * *

Sweet smelling body wash graced Weiss slender and pale body.

As per her routine, the heiress of the Schnee Dust Company enjoyed her bath. The school' bathing commons were not per her standards and so Weiss had a private bathing room constructed in the dormitory wing. Polished marble and state of the art, Weiss' personal cleaning facilities exhibited nothing but the highest class of comfort and cleanliness.

Weiss lowered herself into a bath heated to perfect temperature, careful to not allow her hair, held in a towel, to touch the water.

If there was a time where Weiss Schnee felt in harmony with the world, it was now.

Weiss gave a soft sigh. Squeezing a sponge, she ran it along her soapy arm.

But alas, the burdens of royalty, Weiss thought. However, between the Grimm and Beacon and the family company, it was far from the most pressing issue in Weiss' life. Weiss squeezed every drop from her sponge, tightening her grip on the sponge as if her hands were on a certain person's neck:

Jaune Arc, the buffoon of Beacon.

Between the blatant flirting and embarrassing displays of ineptitude in class, Jaune Arc was a nuisance. The uncivilized sloth hails from a respectable family yet shows a complete lack of common knowledge and sense. There was no greater display of Jaune's ignorance than his overbearing confidence in his poor attempts to court her while referring to her, much to Weiss' horror at his familiarity, as 'Snow Angel'.

Weiss brushed the sponge down her leg.

What an insufferable man, Weiss thought but as she stared into the pool of water, Weiss reflected that perhaps Jaune was not _the_ most insufferable man.

"What an unpleasant thought," said Weiss as looked at her reflection.

In her nightgown, Weiss decided to take a stroll. The bath was less enjoyable than she had hoped and she needed a stroll to clear her mind.

Weiss decided to check her mailbox, a primitive but still functional service. It was particular trait that Weiss enjoyed the monthly issues of various magazines and coupon cutting. But more often than not, it provided Weiss with an excellent supply of paper plane fodder in the form of love letters. Old fashioned but Weiss did not dislike that sort of romanticism as futile as it was.

Finding nothing of interest in her mailbox, Weiss dumped the bulk of her letters in the trash before taking a few with her to roof.

Opening the door, Weiss felt the cool night air on her skin.

It was a favored pastime of hers, folding love letters into paper planes and letting them fly where they may. Weiss opened a letter and pulled it out. She read it quickly, a token act of appreciation to see how people could express love and lust with varying degrees of mastery over grammar and vocabulary. With gentle creases and firm pinches from her fingers, Weiss made the first of many paper planes of the night. Standing from the edge, Weiss raised it high and closed her eyes. She waited for that perfect breeze before releasing it and watched the plane soar.

Except, this particular breeze, blew against her.

The paper plane flew off the edge and flew upward before returning towards her. Weiss ducked as the paper plane flew past her towards the roof entrance.

"Ouch!"

Weiss jumped. It was an unexpected cry as Weiss turned around.

"Jaune? What are you doing here?"

Jaune leaned against the wall beside the roof entrance, rubbing his eye. The paper plane had just flown into it. Weiss approached and kneeled beside Jaune, moving aside his hand to check his eyes which appeared fine.

"That stings! What? Do you like throwing paper airplanes at people who just happen to sleeping on the roof?" Jaune attempted to rise before his legs buckled and he collapsed. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, easy." Jaune breathed in and out deeply. Rubbing his legs, Jaune paced his breaths. "My legs are still cramped up so I apologize for not bowing at your presence, Weiss."

"What are you doing on the roof with a cramped leg?"

"Training with a cruel taskmaster," Jaune whimpered. "But she's gone now and left me here all alone. She told me I could crawl back to the room myself but I don't think I've got enough strength for that." Jaune sniffed himself. "Plus I smell." Jaune's stomach rubmled. "And I'm hungry..."

Weiss rolled her eyes. Jaune appeared fine.

"Will you be okay?"

"Yeah. I was just planning on, you know, sleeping here. Well I was already sleeping here. Then suddenly a paper plane came straight into my eye. Man, who throws paper airplanes off the roof?" Jaune looked at the paper plane in his hand. "Stupid paper plane professing my undying love for Weiss Schnee... huh?"

"Th-that's private! Give it here!"

Weiss panicked and grabbed the letter from him, inadvertently dropping the other letters in hand.

"To Weiss from my most elegant flower... To the beautiful and courageous Weiss Schnee... My most exquisite plum blossom... Are these fan mails?" Jaune asked.

"They're love letters you dimwit! Now hand them back!"

"Oh." Jaune looked at them before handed them back. "Sorry if they seemed strange. I've never seen a lover letter before."

Weiss huffed. "It's only natural someone of my qualities would attract attention."

"From people who sign their letters, 'Bigus Dickus'?" Weiss blushed.

"I-I'm sure he's a f-fine fellow."

"Right... now say. Weiss, darling, sweetie, my dearly beloved Snow Angel. I'm in a bit of a rut with me being hungry and sweaty and all and I'm kind of stuck on the roof with this bummed out leg and all..." Jaune twiddled his thumbs together. "...so you mind getting me something to eat and a wet rag? I'm starving."

"What's the rag for?"

Jaune sighed. "Well I can't take a bath..."

Weiss brought a palm to her face. "You're pathetic."

"I know..." Jaune sighed before scratching his eye. "Man, that paper airplane really nailed me right in the eye."

Weiss got onto her knees leaned forward. "Let me see. Ah, you got some dust in your eye."

"I'm sure you would know all about that," said Jaune.

"Know what?"

"Dust. You know... You're Weiss Schnee. Your family owns a 'Dust' company. You know 'dust' when you see it... oh never mind." Jaune shook his head, a hand still covering his itchy eye. It was a failed attempt at being funny.

"That wasn't even remotely clever," said Weiss shaking her head.

"Couldn't you humor me just-"

"No."

Jaune sighed. "Not even once..." Jaune began rubbing his eye.

"Stop, you can't rub your eye like that. It'll just make it worst. Hold still and don't move," said Weiss and she removed Jaune's hand from his eye. Bringing a hand to Jaune's cheek, she steadied his face and blew into Jaune's eye. Weiss' lips appeared so close to Jaune.

"Th-thanks, Weiss," said Jaune as Weiss pulled back.

"It was nothing. My mother taught me that trick." Jaune leaned back against the wall and stretched before wincing from the various bruises and aches on his body. "You sure you'll be alright?"

"Totally," Jaune assured. "I use to camp in my backyard all the time so sleeping on the roof is like a luxury hotel. I mean, look at all this gravel, soft as a pillow. And these wood chips, how did they even get up here? It's great bedspread. But yeah... do you mind getting me a wet rag and some food?"

Weiss couldn't tell if Jaune was joking or not.

"I'll see what I can do," said Weiss from the roof entrance doorway.

"Thanks," Jaune called out as Weiss left.

Weiss later returned with a blanket and pillow with some wash wipes and melon bread.

"It's n-n-not like I did this for you, or anything!" Weiss explained.

* * *

Ren sat and ate his pancakes.

Breakfast was served promptly and an important part of Ren's routine was eating his breakfast. Nora had wandered off somewhere and thus presented Ren with a rare opportunity to enjoy breakfast by his lonesome. Pyrrha had returned late last night, visibly upset for one reason or another. Ren shrugged it off as a girl thing. Jaune did not return at all. Perhaps he was mulling over who he should ask to the dance and ended up hitting a tree and got knocked out or something.

Either way, Ren thought, Jaune still had plenty time left to find a date to the dance.

Chewing on his pancake, Ren saw Jaune enter the cafeteria, covered in wood chips.

"Maybe he did hit a tree..."

Jaune approached Ren and dropped into a seat across from him.

"Good morning," said Jaune.

"Is it really?" Ren asked. "You look terrible and you've been missing since Goodwitch dragged you off."

"Long story," Jaune groaned.

"So any thought as to who you're going to ask to the dance?" Ren asked.

"I think I'll just take expulsion," groaned Jaune. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this. I can always be a farmer... or something. Like a baker. I always wanted to own my own bakery... except the last time I baked something it got all black and then there were those fires..."

"Baking... scratch that, culinary arts is not your forte, Jaune. And I say this as your friend," said Ren. "You can ask Ruby. I recall you saying you had a thing for nice, quirky girls."

"Yeah... Ruby could work..." Jaune groaned. "But then that would mean I'd actually have to ask her to the dance."

"Where did all that confidence go?" Ren said jokingly. It sounded forced. "Where's Jaune the Lady-Killer? Breaker of Hearts? "

"I was quoting a cartoon..."

"Oh." Ren took a bite of his pancakes. "Well... damn. That's rough, buddy."

"Argh. My dad said women just want confidence... but why is it so hard?" Jaune groaned. "I can barely talk to girls."

"You talk to girls all the time. Literally, aside from me, all you do is talk to girls."

"Yeah but they're all friends! Not like... _girls_, you know?"

Ren took another bite. "I'm not following."

"I want what you and Nora have. That kind of playful banter that just scratches right below flirting."

"What."

"You know... that thing where both of you are having fun and both refused you're in love with each other but you still act like friends and say you're friends until that climatic moment hits at like a school cultural festival or graduation day when you're posing for pictures outside the school entrance when one of you finally confess your feelings."

"Jaune..."

"It was from a cartoon, okay?"

"I'm... just not even going to ask," said Ren as he lifted his tray and made his way to the disposal section.

"Do you think Nora would agree?" Jaune wondered.

Ren froze. "Agree... to what...?"

"To be my date to the dance," said Jaune. "I think it won't count if I ask out another guy's girl. Then that'd just be philandering. Yes! That way she'd technically wouldn't be the first girl I've dated and thus I don't have to marry her!"

"Jaune... I don't think you should."

"Why?" Jaune narrowed his eyes. "Oh I see! It's because you'll get jealous, right?"

"No. You don't understand. Nora is-"

"Ren is just jealous that ol' Jaune here is going to ask his Nora out before he can."

"Jaune. Please, let me explain..."

"Well, guess what? I'm going to go see Nora, right now."

Jaune strutted off towards the dormitory as Ren placed his tray away.

"That poor, poor idiotic buffoon," Ren muttered before noticing the cafeteria was now serving pudding and cheesecake. "Oh, I almost forgot about dessert!"

Rushing to his room Jaune found Nora and presented his proposal to her.

"So! You're asking me out, eh, Jaune?"

Nora sat in a chair, legs crossed and fingers forming a finger tent. The lights were dimmed and windows were closed, leaving the pair in darkness aside from a small lamp beside Nora. She had a sinister smile as Jaune looked confused at the entire display.

"Uh... yeah... there's a dance coming up and I was wondering-"

"Bark."

"Huh?"

Nora frowned. "Oh? Did I stutter? Bark."

"Woof...woof...?"

"Good. Now bark like a small dog."

"Wh-what?"

"Bark like a dog the size of your brain, maggot!" Jaune jumped back.

"Arf Arf!" Jaune whimpered.

"Good boy," said Nora as she lifted herself from her seat. She gently patted Jaune's head before going to he drawer and retrieving a bag. "From now on, you are not longer Jaune Arc. Your name belongs to me. Your life belongs to me. And right now your life is worth the same as these doggy treats," said Nora, wagging a bag of doggy beef-flavored treats.

"Do you keep those-" Nora smacked Jaune with a pillow.

"Dogs don't speak! They bark!"

"This is kind of creeping me-" Nora smacked Jaune again.

"You are my dog. Dogs bark. Do not make me repeat myself," said Nora with a smile. "Now be a good boy and bark if you understand."

Jaune trembled in fear. "Woof."

"Good," Nora smiled and tossed a doggy treat at Jaune before kicking Jaune behind the knee bringing him to all fours.

"Ouch!"

"Dogs walk on all fours," said Nora. Jaune stayed on the floor. "Good boy... I think I'll name you Fandango. You hear that? Your name is now Fandango. Bark if you understand what your new name is." Jaune stayed silent. "_Bark_!"

"Uh... Nora," Jaune began before being silenced with a pillow smack.

"Dogs. Do not. Speak!" Nora yelled.

"What have I gotten myself into," Jaune muttered to himself. "This is crazy!"

"Crazy..." Nora's eye twitched. "Crazy...? Me...?"

"N-no! What I mean was, you know... kind of strange to make your captain bark like a dog and try feeding him doggy treats... is... oh you know... kind of looked down by the rest of society as... just... a tiny... tidy-tiny... bit... _crazy_. "

"How is that crazy," Nora asked innocently as she approached Jaune with a smile.

"Yeah, you know what? I'm... so out," said Jaune as he ran out of the dorm with Nora screaming after him throwing doggy treats with accuracy.

"I own you Fandango! _I own you_! From this day to your last day I, Nora Valkyrie, own you!" Nora screamed to the heavens.

Returning to the table, Jaune looked as he made a deal with a demon.

"I'm guessing that didn't go too well," said Ren as he enjoyed a cup of pudding as a panicked Jaune returned.

"Dude! Why didn't you warn me about her!"

Ren sighed. "Well, now you know why Nora has never had a boyfriend last more than a day. She supposedly owns a zoo of boyfriends and has one for each animal. There was this one time she even started a horse racing circuit..."

Jaune groaned.

"It wasn't so bad. Nora had a good idea of who were the best racers. Made a lot of good candy then. There was a two lollipops minimum bet you see...," Ren reminisced.

"That's not what I was groaning about."

"I know. But, now as you can see, I am not in a romantic relationship with Nora." Ren took a spoonful of pudding. "I doubt there's a sane man alive who can do it," he muttered.

"What am I going to do? I need a date..."

"Ruby is coming this way. You two can have fun," said Ren as he left Jaune and newly arrived Ruby.

"Hey Ren! Oh, guess he's busy," Ruby said as she took a seat besides Jaune. "How you doing tough guy?" Ruby inspected Jaune closely. "Whoa! Did you... get caught in a tornado? Hey... why are there doggy treats stuck on your back."

Jaune dropped his face to the table.

"Long story," he mumbled.

"I got time," Ruby smiled.

Looking Ruby, Jaune realized she was a girl. Maybe she would have some ideas, Jaune thought. "Ruby... say... how do you think guys should ask a girl out?"

Anticipating an answer, and receiving none, Jaune looked at the silent Ruby. Her eyes were wide opened and her face pale. Her face slowly contorted before a giant smile appeared on her face and Ruby let loose a squeal that pierced the ears of everyone in the cafeteria. In an instant, Jaune found himself caught in a high speed tackle attack by Ruby.

"_Who is it_!?"

Ruby's hands held tightly on Jaune's uniform. Her face was nose to nose with Jaune and while he couldn't see her mouth due to the proximity, he knew she was smiling. "No one!" Jaune's response didn't faze Ruby.

"No! Please! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me tell me tell me tell me..."

"No really. It's no-"

"Is it Weiss?"

"No. But Ruby, please get off me-"

"Was it that cute girl with the brown bunny ears?"

"Velvet?"

"You know her name!?"

"Well yeah! She's in our class!"

"True true... Is it... oh did it really happen... is it Pyrrha? Please tell me it's Pyrrha!"

"No!"

"Oh my goodness, it's Pyrrha," Ruby gasped.

"What? But I said no!"

"Guys can't be honest with their feelings. Yep yep," said Ruby with a confident smirk.

"I think you're getting the wrong idea," said Jaune as he pushed Ruby off of him. "I wasn't planning on asking any of them out or anything. I was just curious... about what girls think about how guys should ask girls out." Ruby narrowed her eyes and leaned closer towards Jaune. She gave a penetrating gaze that looked into the depths of one's soul. "R-really."

"Jaune."

"Ruby?"

"Were you going to ask me?"

"What? No! Of course not. That'd be ridiculous," Jaune mumbled, thinking back on his earlier conversation with Ren. The Ruby plan was certainly not high on Jaune's list of preferred scenarios and thus thought it best to abort it. "I wouldn't even dream of asking you," said Jaune.

Jaune heard a sniffle.

"R-really..." Ruby sniffled again. Tears were forming in her eyes. "Wh-what's so b-bad a-about meeeee!"

Jaune's father used to tell him the worst thing a girl can do after you ask them out isn't say 'no', they can cry. But this is the first time Jaune had seen a girl begin crying because a guy didn't ask her out.

"No! What I meant was you're great and you're awesome and, uh, a great team leader to boot!"

"R-really? Do you mean it!"

"Totally," said Jaune with a smile. "You're great in every respect. Looks, smarts, quirky personality..."

After a momentary pause, like the calm before the storm, Ruby began crying even louder, attracting the attention and gaze of the cafeteria. Gazes from the male population, upset at Jaune Arc for causing the popular red-themed school idol to cry, was causing Jaune to panic. Rumors were spreading and fast as people began tapping away messages spreading throughout the school.

"If I'm so great, w-why w-won't you ask m-me out!" Ruby wailed. She brought her hands to her eyes doing her best to rub away the streaming tears.

"It's not like I don't want to ask you out!"

"So why don't you!"

"B-because... you know... reasons," Jaune mumbled. "Look, please stop crying-"

The cafeteria doors burst open. The student populace within the cafeteria looked towards the yellow figure standing in the doorway, fire radiating from her body like the sun in the middle of summer and her hair burning with rage and fury.

"Jaune Arc!" Yang called out. "Where the hell are you!?"

Maketh Ruby cry, cometh Yang mad.

Jaune flew through a window and into the courtyard, launched there by a high-speed, dust-empowered punch from Yang.

A lesser man would have been broken in half.

"I think I just got broken in half... ow... I can't feel my legs. Ouch! Okay... there they are..." Jaune landed on the lawn, the once green area was now a crater as Jaune did his best to lift himself. From the window he had just flown through moments earlier, Jaune saw his maker, his reaper.

Yang slammed her fists together and the frame of the shattered window burst into flames.

Jaune gulped.

"You're dead meat, Jaune Arc!" Yang screamed as she launched herself into the sky.

Jaune looked up into the sky as Yang became one became one with the sun shining on her back. Jaune could see from the shadows that Yang was ready to unload her dust-shell punches into his face and until he was pummeled to a bloody pulp.

"So boned," Jaune sighed. He closed his eyes and resigned himself to his fate. Not feeling his face turn into a bloody pancake, Jaune opened his eyes. He saw an elegant back and a flowing piece of red cloth. A shield blotted out the sun.

"Stand up, Jaune," came a voice from a familiar teammate.

"Pyrrha?"

"Out of my way," said Yang. Her attack had been deflected by Pyrrha's shield. "My fists got a date with that guy's face."

"Regardless of the rumors you've heard, there's no need for violence," said Pyrrha as she readied her spear. Yang scowled and fired a shot. Pyrrha blocked it. "I understand you're upset but you must control yourself!"

"Tell me that when you've got a crying sister!" Yang screamed as she unloaded round after round in Pyrrha's shield.

Jaune stood in a daze. He should be dead. Now he had one girl who wants to brutalize him for making her sister cry and a teammate he was certain was upset at him for one reason or another defending him from the onslaught of the former. This couldn't get any stranger, Jaune thought.

"Fandangoooo! Where are youuuu!"

"Welp," said Jaune. "Such misfortune."

"There you are!" Nora skipped over to Jaune as Yang and Pyrrha engaged in a heated, high-octane action. "I got you a new collar! Do you like it?" It was a monstrous piece of leather attached to a steel chain. Placing it on Jaune, Nora adored her work.

"Uh... woof?"

"Good boy! Here's a treat! Now come, let's go," said Nora as she tugged Jaune away with a leash.

"Hey!" Yang yelled from the crater studded battlefield. "Nora! Jaune's mine!"

"Jaune!" Pyrrha called out.

Nora stopped in her tracks and looked back with a bored expression.

"Jaune? Who's that? All I'm doing is taking Fandango out for a little ol' stroll. Isn't that right, Fandango?" Nora gave Jaune a tug on the steel chain.

"Woof...I guess," Jaune mumbled. It couldn't possibly get worst Jaune thought as a spear was thrown that severed the leash Nora was holding. It came dangerously close to decapitating Jaune. Dropping the leash, Nora gave Pyrrha a death glare.

"Jaune! Run!" Pyrrha yelled out as Yang leaped towards Nora.

Nora withdrew her grenade launcher and unleashed a volley of canister shots at Yang. Through brute force and ignorance, Yang broke through the barrage and came within melee range as Nora transformed her weapon into hammer-mode and slammed Yang back into the cafeteria through the burning window. Reverting back to her grenade launcher, Nora turned her attention towards Pyrrha.

Pyrrha came up next blocking grenade shots her shield as she ducked and rolled to retrieve her spear.

Pyrrha now all that stood between Jaune and Nora.

"You know, Pyrrha...," said Nora with a lick of her lips, "I've been meaning to have this little showdown with you for a long time." Nora's eyes were dulled, oblivious to the world aside from her singular focus. She transformed her weapon into its hammer form. "I can't wait to see how you look after I pulverize you for trying to steal my precious Fandango."

"Jaune," Pyrrha said in low voice. "Are you okay?"

"Pyrrha! I thought, I thought..." Jaune was about to cry. "I thought you were upset at me."

"We can talk later." Pyrrha blocked a grenade shot from Nora. "Run!"

Jaune was way ahead of her.

"I guess my dog needs some more training. Maybe I'll just break his legs so he'll never run away from me again."

"Nora... please, don't make me do this," said Pyrrha. Nora gave her an immediate answer. If Jaune looked back, he would have seen Nora hurling herself towards Pyrrha in full force screaming a war cry at the top of her lungs.

"_Fandangoooo_!"

* * *

Peace was strange to Blake.

The sounds of explosions reminded her of the vicious days in the White Fang. But for the first time in Blake's life, she was at relative peace away from conflict, no longer needing to hide underneath her bed for fear of her life. Such explosions were common at Beacon where people just decided to get into the action-packed fight of the day. Blake sighed. The noise did make it difficult to read..

A small explosion shook the campus.

"Today's fight sounds intense," Blake said to herself as she returned to her book. Though she enjoyed the book, Blake found the premise a bit unbelievable. It was about a boy who has to fall in love by the full moon but through his antics and sheer luck manages to enthrall the hearts of every major female character.

At least it was entertaining, Blake thought.

She had just reached the part where the main protagonist is caught in a storm and is banging furiously on the door of a quiet girl begging for refuge.

There came knocks on her door.

"Weiss! Blake! Someone please! Let me in!"

"Jaune?" Blake set aside her book and opened the door, finding a disheveled and panicked Jaune Arc. As Jaune entered the room, the room shook from the aftershock of an explosion and he leaped out of sight behind Blake's bed. "What happened to you? You look terrible. And why are you hiding?"

"I'm hiding from that," Jaune whimpered as he peaked from behind the bed. Jaune pointed cautiously towards the window. "Could you, uh, close the blind please? I'm think I'm getting more tanned than usual and I was hoping to, oh you know, avoid being outside. Not be seen by anyone because I'm pretty embarrassed and... yeah..."

Blake rolled her eyes and walked to the window.

Looking out, she saw Pyrrha, Nora and Yang engaged in a three-way fight creating craters. Havoc and debris were sewn all around the courtyard between the destructive force of the two heavy hitters of their respective teams and the magnetic power of Pyrrha. Students cheered from the safety of cover as the spectacle as pink grenades, dust-powered punches, and a certain shield flew around the once peaceful campus lawn.

"I... see..." Blake turned to Jaune. "I'm guessing you're involved in that somehow?"

"Oh no! I'm definitely not involved with that. Nope!" Jaune gave a nervous laugh as Blake glared. "Well... a tiny... little bit... involved..."

"So why not hide in your own room?"

"Lost my keys," said Jaune showing a hole in his pants pocket. "So mind if I crash here?"

"Make yourself as home, although I'm not sure if the others will mind," said Blake. She returned to her bed, opened her book, and continued reading for a moment. "But I am curious," said Blake, "why are they fighting?"

Jaune sighed.

Its a long stor-... oh never mind. So you see I'm trying to find a date to the school dance for 'reasons' and so I was talking to Ren about it but then I saw Cardin picking on Velvet, the bunny-eared faunus girl, and so I told him to lay off her and Cardin said some things and I lost it and I started beating him with a chicken, then a fish, then Goodwitch pulls me out and should have expelled me but didn't so she gave me cleaning duties and I was talking to Velvet and she seems like a nice quirky girl but then Pyrrha came and dragged me off to have a night of training on the roof and I was so sore I couldn't crawl my way back to my room and then Weiss hit me in the eye with a paper airplane so she felt bad and got me a blanket and some damn good melon bread so when I woke up I went to breakfast and I came to see Ren and I got this bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad idea to ask out Nora who now thinks I'm her dog named Fandango and I ran out of there and I was talking to Ruby and so I thought maybe she would have a good idea on how to ask out a girl since, you know, she's a girl and she ended up demanding I tell her who it was I was thinking of asking out and when she thought it was herself I told her I wasn't going to ask her out and I think she got offended or something and so she started crying in the middle of cafeteria then Yang came to beat the crap out of me for making Ruby Cry then Pyrrha saved me then Nora came and... here I am?"

Blake blinked.

"Wow."

Jaune assumed the fetal position. "So as you can see, I'm a little stressed."

A small explosion shook the room.

"Pyrrha and Nora are still going at it," said Blake. "Cheer up, Jaune. It might be good for team unity."

"Two teammates destroying each other leads to team unity... yeah right."

"I was just trying to be optimistic," said Blake.

"Thanks," said Jaune. "I wish I had your sort of optimism. All I see is gloom and impending doom."

"That was rather poetic."

A light-bulb went off in Jaune's head. "That's it! Instead of being a hunter I can be a poet! Yeah! I can live my life in a small country cottage away from everything just writing my ramblings and grow some rice and beans with my sidekick chipmunk."

"Whoa, slow down there," said Blake.

"Yeah, you're right. I should get a puma."

"Do you even know what a puma is?"

"Isn't it a big cat? Oh cats are so fluffy," squealed Jaune. "Cat ears are just so cute."

"Really?"

"Yeah! I think cat ears were look great on a faunus. They can go, 'nyaa nyaa' and wear maid outfits with little bells... Hey! What's that look for? I saw it in a cartoon!"

Blake's bow twitched. "I'm... going to go check on Nora and Pyrrha to make sure they don't hurt each other. You can stay here until this blows over," Blake offered as she holstered her weapons and collected a few potions.

"Good luck!" Jaune said as Blake closed the door behind her.

This was the first time Jaune was alone in a girls-only room. It smelled nice but was less pink than he imagined.

On Weiss' bed, Jaune spotted a bluish notebook peeking from underneath a pillow.

"'_Dear diary. Tonight I found Jaune on the roof. It looked like he hurt his leg training. Oh and I did kind of hit with a paper plane to the eye... but still, as embarrassing as it sounds I just couldn't refuse his request. He seemed so helpless and weak I couldn't leave him alone. It seems like there's something always on his mind. I wish he would tell someone. I mean, I'm here-_'"

Then the door opened.

"Weiss!" Jaune jumped and quickly shoved the diary back underneath the pillow. "I wasn't reading your diary or anything! I swear I was just-"

"Hello, Jaune Arc," said Yang who was covered in dirt and scratches. Behind her was Ruby who hide behind her sister. "My sis is embarrassed to show her face to the school after what you've done," said Yang. Cracking her knuckles she advanced menacingly. "Clench your teeth."

Jaune woke up some time later after the punch. Yang stood in front of him. Ruby behind her.

Jaune was tied to a chair.

"Go ahead, Ruby. Just say it." Yang urged. Yang stood on standby with folded arms as Ruby stepped forward. She was trembling. "No need to be nervous, sis," said Yang. "All you need to do is look him straight in the eye and just say it."

"Jaune... um... if you're not busy... would you like to go out with me, tonight? Like go out for a stroll around town… maybe get share a crepe..." Ruby averted her gaze away from Jaune. She her hands to her cheeks, blushing and fantasizing of a romantic evening.

Jaune was still tied to the chair.

"Can I say 'no'?"

Yang held her gauntlet to Jaune's family jewels and cocked a dust shell into the chamber. "Do you want to say 'no'?"

Jaune laughed nervously.

"I'm going to go with 'yes'. Haha... I'll pick you up at seven."

* * *

_It is not enough that my ship sails, all other ships must burn._

_**Chapter One Fin**_


	2. A Date with Ruby

**The Spring Equinox Dance**

**RWBY**

_**Chapter Two**_

_**A Date with Ruby**_

**Genre :** _Romance/Humor_

**Summary :** _After an academic meeting with Goodwitch discussing his poor grades, Jaune contemplates leaving Beacon. However, Ozpin offers him a chance to prove his worthiness to stay enrolled. Jaune must overcome his challenge by the Spring Equinox. Obstacles from teammates to former friends threaten his task: capturing the most dangerous of hunts, a date to the school dance._

* * *

It was outside of a fancy restaurant in an alleyway where Yang pinned Jaune to a wall.

"Now I expect this night to go off without a hitch!" Yang held a brick to Jaune's face. "Ruby's inside and she's waiting for you to get in there and treat her like a princess by enjoying a nice, sweet, candlelit dinner." Yang growled. "You hear me? I want my sis treated like a princess tonight."

Closing her hand into a fist, the brick crumbled.

"She's a princess! She's definitely a princess! Treat her like a princess! Got it!"

"Good boy," Yang smiled with a pat on Jaune's head.

Jaune breathed in and out deeply. He was facing death incarnate that wouldn't hesitate to make him a eunuch at an instant.

"I promise I'll treat her like a princess and be an absolute gentleman. I'll pull out her chair for her, open doors for her, won't touch her-"

"Wait! What did you say?"

"I said I won't touch her…"

Yang's eye twitched.

"Are you calling my sister ugly, bub?" A shell cocked into the chamber.

Jaune waved his hands in front of him. "No! Absolute not! Your sister is very pretty! Cute!" Jaune cowered and said, "please, just don't hurt me."

"Oh!? So now you're having impure thoughts about my sister!?"

"No! I wouldn't even dream of touching her!"

"What? So my sis isn't good enough for you? Is she so unattractive you wouldn't want to be seated at the same table as her? The thought of you two holding hands while taking a romantic beach-side stroll so disgusting to you!? Well is it!?" Yang leaned in close and whispered, "choose your next words wisely, Jaune Arc, or else you may be Jaune Dead."

"I… like your sister… and for tonight I… will court her… with the purest-the absolute purest-of intentions," Jaune whimpered.

Yang plucked a pebble from the ground and pinched it between her two fingers.

Dust slipped through her fingers.

"See to it you do," said Yang as she rubbed her fingers before blowing on the tips. "Oh and before I forget," said Yang as she approached Jaune.

"Wh-what now?"

Yang pinned Jaune to the alleyway wall and brought a knee between his legs.

"You better behave yourself lover-boy," Yang whispered into his ear. "And if I hear if my sister was not pleased, even if it's just by the amount of ice in her strawberry lemonade, I'll smash a certain body part of yours so hard your ancestors will scream just as loud as you will."

Jaune gulped.

"Reasonable," Jaune nervously smiled.

Yang pulled her lips from Jaune's ear and faced him. Their noses were inches apart. Jaune could feel Yang's sweet fire-orange and mango breath and the smoothness of her skin. His eyes wandered down and he saw the paleness of her collarbone next the softness of her...

"Want a kiss for good luck?" Yang's lips were full and plump.

A hand was brought up to Jaune's face and her fingers slide across his cheek. For a moment, Jaune was about to say yes. But on a rare occasion in his life, thinking overcame instinct and Jaune gave his reply.

Jaune shook his head.

"Ab-so-lute-ly not," Jaune stated, eyes closed.

Yang gave Jaune a pat on the head.

"Good boy," said Yang before delivering a high powered headbutt to Jaune. "Real men get headbutts for good luck. Tata for now," said Yang with a wave. Mounting her motorcycle, Yang drove off.

Stars and canaries danced around Jaune's head before he realized Yang had left. Jaune brushed himself and returned into the restaurant.

He found Ruby sitting at the table, quickly reading through the menu.

"Hey! There you are! Where's Yang?"

"It's going to be just the two of us," said Jaune as he took his seat.

"Oh!? Really!? Just the two of us!?" Ruby clapped excitedly. "I've never eaten dinner along with a boy before... at least boys there were conscious." Jaune gave Ruby a horrified look. "Yang said they were paying if it was a double date but they ended up sleeping on the floor with mysterious bumps on their heads," Ruby shrugged as she took a large sip of strawberry lemonade.

The thought of a pair of Jaune's stones being crushed to dust by Yang Xiao Long entered his weak-mind.

"Ruby, if anything-_anything at all_-makes you unhappy. Please tell me. Tonight I, Jaune Arc, will make sure you are treated like a princess. You understand me!? A princess!"

"Haha! Okay!" Ruby smiled before turning back to her menu. "So… what are you going to order?" Jaune squinted his eyes at the menu. Yang had forced him to take Ruby to an upscale restaurant in a wealthy part of town filled with foreign high-class cuisine which Jaune could not read the names of.

"I can't read any of these words," Ruby said with a confident smile.

"That's not something you should be proud of." Jaune scratched his head. "I actually can't read these either."

"No matter! We will have our dinner! It will be delicious!" Ruby pondered for a bit. "I think I'll order a cheeseburger and milkshake."

"I don't see that on here…"

Ruby shrugged. "You can always ask. Waiter! Excuse me!"

A waiter strolled over and in a bored voice asked, "may I take your order, ma'am? sir?"

"Yes! I'd like a cheeseburger with fries and a milkshake, please," Ruby said with a great, big smile. "Oh, but can you hold the pickles?" Ruby continued in a low whisper to the waiter, "they taste so gross."

The waiter coughed into a gloved hand.

"Ma'am… we do not serve cheeseburgers, fries, nor milkshakes at this establishment."

"You don't?" Ruby asked. Genuine confusion was on her face. "Why not? Everybody loves cheeseburgers, fries, and milkshakes." Ruby's face began to frown.

"Ma'am are you joking-" Jaune quickly waved down the waiter.

"Yo! Uh… waiter, let's have a chat," said Jaune as he rose from his seat, threw an arm around the waiter and walked away from the table towards a hallway. When the two turned the corner and were out of sight from Ruby, Jaune spoke to the waiter. "Now look here, my date's sister is going to neuter me with dust-powered shotgun shells if I don't make sure she has a good time. Now look at her," said Jaune as he pinched the waiter's face and directed it towards Ruby, peaking from behind the corner. "What do you see on her face?"

"The face of a young pretty whom-I-presume-to-be female person." Jaune stared the waiter. "What? She might be a very handsome boy who decided to dress as a girl for the night. I don't judge."

Jaune groaned at the world.

"No no no. I mean what kind of expression? Does she look happy?"

"I see a frown," said the waiter. Jaune pulled the waiter's face towards him.

"Now look at me," said Jaune. "What kind of face do you see?"

"A male face-"

"No no. You look at me. Look at me.," said Jaune. He had two fingers pointed towards his eyes. "I'm the captain now."

"Sir… what does that even mean?"

"You do as I say," said Jaune as he pulled out his wallet. "Take this lien, buy a cheeseburger, fries, milkshake and whatever else you can get from Jack in a Vytal, dump some fancy green stuff on it and serve it to her. Got it?"

The waiter looked at the large amount of lien pushed into his hand and nodded. Returning the table, Ruby smiled at Jaune as he took his seat. The waiter then gave a short bow to Ruby and said, "very good ma'am. Cheeseburger with no pickles, fries, and a milkshake."

"Thank you!" Ruby said. Her face glowed with a smile any guy would want to protect and she closed the menu. The waiter and Ruby looked over at Jaune, anticipating his order.

"And what shall you be having, sir?"

"Huh? Me? Oh that's right, I need to order to…" Jaune looked at the menu and found all of the names in foreign languages and difficult to pronounce. "How about…" Jaune mumbled the food name while pointing at it in the menu.

"Ah! Broiled pork brains stuffed in intestines served on a bed of lima beans. Excellent choice, sir," said the waiter.

"Wait! What? How can that possibly be a thing? No no, I change my mind… uh…" Jaune said a different food name. "And I think I'll have that with a…" Jaune read another food name.

The waiter's forced smile turned upside down.

"Sir… you just said you shave your back with cactus needles in Vacuo," the waiter coughed. "And your mother eats the possums that flow endlessly from your father's southern lawn."

"I didn't realize you were fluent in Vacuo," said Ruby.

"Oh forget it… you know what? I'll just have chicken," said Jaune closing the menu.

"Very good sir," said the waiter as he jotted into his notepad. "What kind of chicken?"

"Just pick me something I'll eat," Jaune waved off before dropping his face into his hands and groaning. Ruby giggled. The waiter shrugged and wrote down an order for Jaune.

"It will be here, shortly," he said before bowing and departing.

With the waiter gone, Ruby leaned across the table and gave Jaune a poke.

"Hey hey! I'll share some of my fries with you," said Ruby with a smile. "You can have those short crumby ones that end up on the bottom of the box. I call dibs on the long ones!"

Jaune looked up.

"You're so nice Ruby," Jaune said as they continued with dinner.

After dinner, the pair decided to take a stroll through the city and stumbled through the shopping district. It was that Ruby spotted something of immense interest to her.

"Is that… oh! It's one of those… what do you call it… maid cafes!" Ruby pointed excitedly.

"Maid cafes? I didn't think they actually existed outside of cartoons…"

"Yeah! It's always been on my bucket list to go to one!" Ruby looped her arm around Jaune's. "Come on! We still haven't eaten and the night is still young, let's go! They should definitely have some milk and cookies!" Ruby threw an arm into the air and began pulling Jaune inside the maid cafe.

Weiss and Blake peaked from the alleyway corner.

"Look at them! I told you they were going on a date! I just told you!" Weiss exclaimed excitedly. "I still can't believe our team captain is going out with another team captain, especially that babbling buffoon Jaune. It's like one of those love stories you hear on the radio."

"Uh huh. Should we really be following them? What they do with their personal relationships and romantic pursuits is their business," said Blake. "Shouldn't we respect that as part of their privacy as human beings?"

"No! We must absolutely follow them! They stopped being humans and started being a couple when they started going out! They're an item! They're a thing! And I must learn all I can about this… this… thing!"

"Why?"

"Why…? Why!?" Weiss' eyes bulged with fury. "Obviously!"

"Obviously what? You just stopped at obviously," said Blake who tilted her head. "I'm not following…"

Weiss sighed.

"The reality is I have nothing better to do than spy on my team captain's personal life and it makes me so-so-so-so curious to know the who-what-why of the Jaune-Ruby dating sensation currently occupying all the rumors on the school social networks!" Weiss squealed with excitement as she typed frantically into her phone.

"You're such a gossip," Blake sighed.

"Look! The school gossip forums!" Weiss proudly showed it to Blake on her phone.

"Beacon actually has one of those? Why is Ozpin the moderator for the Student Shipping Boards…"

"Details! Our first course of action is to maintain observation and figure out the who-what-why of the Ruby-Jaune date! I must know their relationship progress at all times! Conversations… if they've held hands or, dare if it passes my lips, exchanged phone numbers!"

Blake rolled her eyes.

"You can ask Ruby when she gets back."

"Not good enough!" Weiss whined. "I must know now!"

"Well they entered a maid cafe," Blake murmured. "Well we can't tail them anymore," said Blake as she started walking in the direction towards Beacon. "Time to go back."

"Not so fast!" Weiss began pacing back and forth in the alleyway. "There has to be something," she said with a thoughtful look towards the cafe.

"We can just go home," Blake mumbled.

"A ha! I've got just the perfect way to get in," said Weiss as she pointed towards the cafe. Pulling Blake's hand, Weiss approached the maid cafe. Grabbing a sign from the window, Weiss showed Blake her discovery. "Yes! Excellent! Just as I thought!" Weiss presented the sign to Blake.

"Help wanted," said Blake as Weiss gave her a mischievous smile.

"Read the applicant qualifications," Weiss smiled and rubbed her hands together with sinister intent. Blake held the sign and read.

"Tall, long haired, preferably black-haired and possesses a feline physique… Okay but what does that have… Wh-What? What's that look for? Weiss…? I don't like where this is going…"

Without giving her an answer, Weiss grabbed Blake's arm and pulled her to into the maid cafe and demanded to see the manager about an excellent new potential hire.

Ruby and Jaune were seated, waiting for their waitress to take their order.

"Huh? Blake?" said Ruby. Jaune looked up from the menu and saw the black-themed member of Team RWBY in a maid outfit, sporting bells, cat ears, and even a tail. "Wow!"

"This. is so. embarrassing," Blake sighed as she set down complimentary drinks onto the table.

Blake's outfit gave her chills. It was black and white outfit with white frills. There was cloth in most appropriate places but noticeably, and pleasantly, lacking around the cleavage. The outfit was complete with white stockings.

Doing her best to keep some modesty, Blake held the circular tray over her chest.

"What are you doing working here, Blake?" Ruby asked.

"I, uh, I needed m-money?"

"For…?"

"Oh you know… school expenses… paper and pencils and that sort of thing. Notebook costs can really add up," said Blake. She couldn't let Ruby and Jaune know Weiss and her were trailing them on their date. "B-besides, what are you two doing together here?"

"We're on a date!" Ruby said proudly. Ruby grabbed Jaune's arm and pulled him close. "Isn't it romantic?" Ruby said with a dreamy expression on her face.

Well Ruby was never one to subtle, thought Blake. Blake turned to Ruby's date.

"Jaune?"

"That tail!" The once-quiet Jaune exclaimed much to Ruby's displeasure.

Blake's tail moved with motion of her hips.

"Th-there's a wire in it," said Blake as she turned to showed Jaune her rear. With a rotational movement, she made the tail twirl. "I-it's nothing really… I-I only just learned that trick when I was trying out the outfit in the mirror." For some reason, tail twirling came very naturally to Blake.

Then Jaune stared at Blake's ears.

"Those ears are amazing too," said Jaune, impressed by the realism of the ears. "They're just so cute!" Jaune stared at the ears with starry-eyed fascination.

"R-really?" Blake blushed.

Sitting silently and arms crosse. Ruby glared at Blake who mouthed a "sorry" for the attention she was stealing away from Ruby. Jaune was still staring at the ears.

"Can I… can I touch them?"

Blake froze.

Letting another person touch your ears was an extremely intimate act in faunus culture. Sometime done only between lovers. Blake began sweating, her mother had reminded her never to let boys touch her ears or else she'd be called shameless and a harlot.

But Jaune didn't know she was a faunus or the ears were real.

Maybe, Blake thought, it wouldn't hurt to let him.

"S-sure… I mean, of course, Master," said Blake reluctantly. She did her best to try and stay in character. Blake took a seat beside Jaune.

Mesmerized Jaune scooted closer next to Blake and brought his hand to her head.

Jaune's fingers ran through Blake's hair, reaching just below the ears. A gentle stroke of his fingertips sent a pure ecstasy through her mind. Blake's mother had always told her never to let the boys touch the ears. It was perverse, she told her, something that humans do to faunus who lose all self respect, who were subjugated, enslaved.

But why, Blake thought through the tears of pleasure, did it feel so good?

Blake purred.

"Whoa Blake. That sounded so real. Just like a big cat or something," said Jaune as he continued scratching her behind the ears. He began experimenting with different touches and strokes with his finger. "This fur is so soft… wow! I can't believe they have cat ears this real!"

Blake's cheeks were flushed and her eyes closed. She had to bite her lip to cease the purring.

Ruby sat back in her seat, leering at the display. She was pouting but Jaune didn't noticed as he was too engrossed in Blake's ears. She sucked out her drink through the straw until there was nothing but ice.

"Blake! Refill!" Ruby shouted as she slammed the glass onto the table.

Blake broke out of her trance.

"Of-of course, milady! Right away!" Blake scooted out of the booth and hurriedly affixed her headdress. Catching a quick glimpse of Jaune, she averted her gaze. "I'll be right back, milady…." and with a glance at Jaune, "...m-master…"

Blake grabbed the glass and left. The bells on her dress jingling and tail strangely limp.

"Wow! Ruby! Did you hear how Blake sounded? It was if she was a real cat!" Jaune nodded. "Blake would make an excellent maid, don't you think?"

"Yeah… sure..." Ruby said before giving Jaune an accusing eye. "So are you into girls like that?"

"Like what?"

"Girls who wear maid outfits and bells," Ruby pouted. "I could wear one too if you wanted," Ruby continued in a low voice. "I want this," said Ruby pointing at the menu.

Jaune looked at the menu. "You want that? Sure, I guess."

When Blake returned, Ruby made her order loud and clear and decisive. Blake looked at the item Ruby ordered. Her cat ears twitched as Blake scribbled the order down on her notepad.

"One Lover's Sundae Special coming right up," said Blake.

After Blake left, Ruby scooted even closer to Jaune.

"Jaune."

"Ruby?"

Ruby grabbed Jaune's face with both of her warm hands and pulled his face from Blake's tail to the direction of her face. "Jaune, look at me."

"Looking," said Jaune.

"Who do you see?"

"Ruby?"

Ruby's eyes narrowed in anger. "Your date!" Releasing Jaune's face, Ruby pouted and cross her arms, unwilling to look at Jaune's face. "Remember, Jaune, tonight I am your date!"

"Yeah but I don't see what's wrong," said Jaune rubbing his cheek.

"What's wrong?" Ruby gasped as if Jaune had the audacity to ask such a question. "What's wrong is that you're paying attention to other girls more than me!"

Jaune gave Ruby a confused look.

"Girls actually get jealous? I thought that was just in cartoons."

"No! We can get jealous! Just the other day Blake had this delicious chocolate cake and it was just so good and I got so jealous that I snuck a few bites but before I knew it the entire cake was gone so I smeared the frosting and crumbs onto Weiss' lips while she was sleeping and so Blake thought Weiss ate the cake while she was sleeping walking!"

"What," said Blake who was delivering the pair their Lover's Sundae Special.

"Oh! Blake… I, uh, you look fantastic! Very cute!"

"Y-yeah," Jaune agreed. "Especially those ears. They're just so darn cute!" Jaune was cut off from further compliments with a sharp elbow from Ruby. "Ow!" Ruby glared at Jaune.

Blake said nothing. Frowning at Ruby she departed.

"I think she's mad at me. Do you think she's mad at me? I think she's mad at me," said Ruby. Jaune looked Blake's rear and watched the tail twirl intently. Ruby elbowed Jaune hard. "Stop staring at other girls! For tonight you are my date and I expect complete faithfulness!"

"I think you're the one mad at me..." Jaune leaned back into his booth seat before noticing the sundae. "Whoa! This sundae is huge!"

Taking a spoon, Jaune was about to take a bite before Ruby slapped the utensil from his hand.

"Ladies first," said Ruby with a puff" Taking a scoop she took a bite. Her eyes closed, Ruby sunk her cheek into her free hand and left out a soft moan of satisfaction. "How delicious," Ruby commented before taking another bite.

"Uh… is it my turn yet?"

"Nope," said Ruby with another scoop. Ruby moaned in delight from the sweetness of the ice cream. Various flavors of pleasure entered her mouth with each spponful. "This is delicious. Yup yup," Ruby said softly.

Before long the sundae was gone.

"I think that's the exact opposite of what you do with a lover's sundae," Jaune commented sadly.

Ruby glared at Jaune. "Oh, so we're lovers now?"

"N-no?"

Ruby frowned. "Then what are we Jaune? What are we?" Ruby pushed Jaune flat onto the both seat and was on top of him. Her nose to his nose. "Who am I to you? What are you to me? How do you feel about Blake?"

"What does Blake have to do with any of this?"

"Answer me!" Ruby used one arm to pin Jaune's chest down as she reached for her scythe resting across the table from her. "Just answer!"

"Ruby, I don't know what-"

"Just tell me something!" Ruby glared at Jaune.

"You're cute?" Jaune shrugged.

"I-I am?" Ruby pulled back from Jaune. "Did Jaune just say I was cute? Oh… Oh! Wait, oh… b-but oh oh oh!" Ruby pressed her cheeks to her face and averted her gaze from Jaune, caught up in another fantasy.

"Anytime? I mean, you're a great friend," Jaune sighed.

Ruby became silent.

Jaune looked up. Ruby's face was blank. Her eyes widened and staring deep at Jaune. Jaune could feel the depth of darkness in his heart as Ruby's eyes began to glaze over and stare deep into his soul.

"F-friend?" Ruby said. "Friend!?"

Ruby slammed her hands on the table and stood up, knocking the chair backwards.

"Ye-yeah, we're friends. Aren't we?"

Ruby's lip twitched. Her head tilted slightly and back. Her hands were shaking and her breathing intensified. The air became hotter and uncomfortable for Jaune. Rubbing the tears from her eyes, Ruby wailed.

"Jaune… you and Ruby are disturbing the customers," Blake whispered.

"Yeah," said Jaune. "I'll just… hey, where did Ruby go?"

Ruby was missing from her seat.

Blake sighed. "Ruby already ran off." Pushing Blake aside, Jaune ran out of the restaurant, seeing a trail of scythe cuts and high caliber sniper rifle rounds lodged into the walls.

Jaune found Ruby sitting on a park bench. Destruction sewn around her.

"Ruby?"

Puffy eyed and sniffling, Ruby looked up at Jaune before averting her gaze. She was pouted as she calmed down, scythe resting beside her but still within easy reach to decapitate a certain date who only saw her as a friend.

Saying nothing, Jaune took a seat beside her. Ruby huffed and scooted away from Jaune.

"What do you want, friend?"

Jaune scratched his head. "Look, Ruby, I'll be the first to admit I know absolutely nothing about women."

"Got that right," Ruby huffed.

"And this date was a tiny bit… kind of… okay, it was completely forced." Ruby glared at Jaune, demanding he get to the point. "But what I'm trying to say is that you're a really cute girl and nice person!"

"And what does that matter if I'm not seen as more than that?"

"Is it really that important?"

Ruby brought her knees to her chest on the bench. "All my life I thought boys were gross and icky because they thought I was weird and obsessed with weapons. I can't help if the thoughts of custom cartridges are discharged at the rate of ten thousand rounds per minute!"

"Weapons are cool," Jaune assured. "Weapons are definitely cool. Yeah… I've got nothing."

Ruby giggled before letting out a deep breath.

"I just wanted to have a date, just once." Ruby looked up at the shattered moon. "I wanted a romantic evening with dresses and dinner and everything… I didn't want a pity date with a friend." Ruby turned to Jaune and placed her hands on the bench.

In the moonlight, Ruby's lips appeared glossy as she leaned towards Jaune.

"R-Ruby?"

"For tonight," Ruby began. "Even if it's only for tonight, please look at me as a woman."

Looking down at the bench, Ruby awaited the answer.

Without thinking, Jaune agreed.

The pair took a walk through the city before ending up back on the school high atop the Beacon Clocktower. Overlooking the entire school the pair took seats along the ledge. Ruby dangled her legs, being bold. Jaune, however, was nervous he might fall and plummet to his early demise.

"Ain't this a great breeze?" Ruby smiled as she embraced the wind.

"Y-yeah,' Jaune agreed. "Kind of chilly though," he said rubbing his arms.

Ruby leaned closer. Their shoulders touched.

"Warm enough for you?" Ruby asked innocently.

"It's warmer," said Jaune before sneezing. "But it's still pretty cold."

With a sigh, Ruby lifted Jaune's arm and placed it around her shoulders and she leaned onto his chest. She could hear Jaune's heartbeat quicken.

"You are pretty warm. Whatcha talkin' 'bout Jaune?"

Jaune was red. His mind was elsewhere now.

"I-I think anyone would be warm… like this, I mean."

"If you're having naughty thoughts raised your hand," said Ruby.

Jaune raised his hand.

Ruby giggled. "I didn't think you'd be so honest."

Jaune's thoughts cleared from his mind. "Wh-what? I wasn't paying attention. Something about raising my hand?"

"You're hopeless," said Ruby as she returned leaned into him. "But this is pleasant."

"Hope we can do it again sometime," Jaune said without thinking as he relaxed. Ruby couldn't think of anything to say to that.

The two sat in silence looking out on the lamplit campus of Beacon beneath the moon. After spending a long while with Ruby, Jaune escorted Ruby back to her dorm room.

"I had a lot of fun!" Ruby smiled as she fumbled around her dress for a key.

"Me too."

"Sorry I made you do this," Ruby said at the doorway. "I just… wanted someone to look at me, you know? I know Yang forced you into this and I was being unreasonable. I'm a bit of crybaby about this kind of stuff."

"No problem-o. Anytime," said Jaune who felt a wave of weariness overtake his body. His bed was so close.

"And I know this wasn't a 'real' date… but...I hope you ask me out again sometime, you know, for...for real..."," Ruby said in a low, soft voice. Her face flushed red and gazed downward.

"What was that?" Jaune asked through a yawn.

"No-it-was-nothing-never-mind-I'll-see-you-tomorrow-good-night-bye-bye!" Ruby slammed the door on Jaune who shrugged, stretched his arms, and figured Yang wouldn't pulverize him. Thus, Jaune returned to his room.

"At least there's no more girls I need to go out with," Jaune smiled as he plopped onto bed. Perhaps Jaune could finally get some rest.

* * *

An exhausting battle to contain Nora within the school boiler room had taken its toll on her. Ren's assistance had been invaluable. Nora was padlocked and chained while Ren was keeping watch over their unconscious teammate. With the psychotic member of their team taken care of, Pyrrha set out to look for the missing captain of Team JNPR.

It was night when Pyrrha found Velvet at a quaint little school park next to the vegetable gardens. Velvet offered a stroll to clear her minds. The search was going no where and thus, Pyrrha accepted. Even if she didn't enjoy Velvet's company, this was an opportunity to scout out the enemy, Pyrrha reasoned.

Also, Pyrrha needed to forget about Jaune, if only for a moment.

"What is the pinnacle of oneself?" Velvet mused aloud.

Pyrrha followed close. "I suppose being the best person you can be," she answered. "Learn all you can and train all you can."

Velvet skipped ahead of Pyrrha.

"I do not disagree," replied Velvet. "We have similar viewpoints you and I."

"Oh?" Pyrrha caught up. "Should I be flattered?"

"Not at all!" Velvet laughed. "Self-cultivation on the inside; glory and achievements on the outside," said Velvet. Looking towards her rival, Velvet continued, "You possess many accolades from your triumphs in tournaments. I suppose you are only half way there."

"If you'd like, I can train you for tournaments," Pyrrha offered. "But I've been told I'm a cruel taskmaster of an instructor."

Velvet covered her mouth in a giggle.

"I will have to pass on that offer, Pyrrha but thank you. Although…" Velvet skipped on top of a fountain block. "I"m very confident I won't lose to you," said Velvet.

"In a tournament?" Pyrrha smiled back at Velvet. "I think the advantage goes to me."

"Oh most undoubtedly. But I was thinking of a different sort of contest. But what I lack in physical strength I make up for in other qualities." Velvet walked ahead of Pyrrha. Pyrrha was certain it was deliberate so Velvet could wave her rear at her like a cottontail rabbit.

"I see you are not afraid of abusing your assets," Pyrrha commented.

Velvet laughed.

"Should anyone be?" Velvet did a somersault on the fountain block. "If one has gifts and one has goals, isn't natural to use exploit everything to acquire it?" The pair paced around the circular fountain. Velvet on top of the fountain blocks and Pyrrha on the park pathway. Pyrrha narrowed her eyes at Velvet.

"What is it that you want?" Pyrrha asked. The circular games were tiresome and Pyrrha asked a straightforward question more suitable to her style.

Velvet smiled.

"I want _him_," stated Velvet.

The person Velvet was referring to was obvious but it still caught her by surprise. Pyrrha paused in her steps as Velvet paced ahead of her.

"I won't let you have him," Pyrrha finally said.

"Does he belong to you?"

"Yes," Pyrrha answered without skipping a beat.

"Did you allow him to have a date with Ruby tonight?"

Pyrrha's eyes gave a momentary expression of surprise. "Wh-what?"

"So you didn't know. Interesting." Velvet looked at her fingernails boredly. "He should have returned to the dorms by now. Intelligence and information gathering is my… speciality," said Velvet.

"You know a lot but all that knowledge won't save you from me in a fight."

"How brutish!" Velvet squealed in feigned defenseless. "I thought you couldn't stand bullies?"

Pyrrha twitched. "I am not a bully. I am defending what… what…"

"Defending… what?"

"I'm defending what belongs to me!" Pyrrha declared.

"Ah! How surprising!… well, is that so? Then, how about we make a bet, Pyrrha?" Velvet suggested. She skipped off the fountain block and walked before Pyrrha. "A bet to settle this conflict between us once and for all as to who can continue their companionship with Jaune," she smiled.

"A tournament?" Pyrrha leaned in close to Velvet. "I try not to enjoy myself in battle but against you, perhaps once, just once, I'll indulge myself."

"Feisty," Velvet said with a mocked shudder. "But no, against a seasoned tournament victor like yourself, it wouldn't be fair. I was thinking more of a contest."

"A contest of what?"

Velvet smiled and turned around.

"Whoever he takes to the Spring Equinox Dance will be the victor and she will have exclusive rights to Jaune Arc," Velvet proposed. "And the other will not interfere in the victor's companionship."

"A moment please," said Pyrrha.

The wind swept the leaves around them in the moonlit park. Empty cans tumbled towards Pyrrha who, with a wave of her hand, raised them to hair.

"Magnetism." Velvet observed. She was not surprised.

With a flick of her wrist, the cans were crushed and sent hurling to a recycling bin.

"Is my answer clear?" Pyrrha asked.

"It was rather obvious given how boorish your manners are," Velvet insulted through a smile.

Shaking their hands, Pyrrha Nikos and Velvet Scalatina agreed to their contest.

* * *

The plan to spy on Ruby and Jaune's date was a disaster, Weiss admitted to herself. Blake couldn't leave work and Weiss found the chase by herself less fun without someone to tag along. Weiss was, however, flattered by the amount of free sundaes she received from lonely men in the cafe while she waited for Blake to finish her only shift.

Hey, Weiss figured, rich is rich but free is free.

A hot bath and the best soaps Schnee money could buy failed to rub off the shame and embarrassment of the spying failure. It was her fault, Weiss admitted.

But still, Weiss felt guilty all the same.

"Probably nothing," Weiss assured herself in the bath. "I simply needed to ensure that my team captain was adhering to strict moral standards and if there was any possible chance of an infraction I'm sure Blake or Yang or Pyrrha would have done the same. Right duckie?"

Squeezing the yellow duckie, it replied, "quack quack"

"See! I knew you'd agree with me!" Weiss smiled to herself before it slowly melted away. Hearing her duckie agree with her was fine and dandy, but even Weiss knew it was her who did the quacking sounds.

Sinking into the bath, mouth below the waterline, Weiss released some air making bubbles.

What am I doing, Weiss wondered?

"No matter," Weiss said as she rose from the bath. Dried and dressed in her night clothes, she collected her mail and sorted through it before finding an envelope with the Schnee family emblem pressed into sealed wax.

"Father…?" Weiss read.

Weiss entered the room, her face paler than usual and in her hand a letter and an opened envelope with a wax Schnee emblem. Walking towards her bed, Weiss plopped face down onto it. Her face was buried into the pillow.

Blake, who did not lift her eyes from her book, asked, "what's wrong, Weiss? Got a love letter from Professor Port?"

Weiss mumbled into her pillow.

"What? It was a joke." Blake put down her book. "You okay?"

Weiss lifted her face. "I need a date!"

"A date for what?"

"The Spring Equinox Dance! My father says he's coming and he's hoping to meet my date!" Weiss folded the letter and placed it into her drawer. "Which means, I need to find a date."

"Okay," said Blake, returning to her book. "So find a date."

"It's not that simple!" Weiss stood up and waved her arms up and down in frustration. "My date needs to be strong, tall, handsome, witty, knows when to talk, when to not talk, table etiquette, a gentleman, good with kids…"

"Whoa there," said Blake. "Sounds like you're looking for a fiance."

Weiss sat down. "I might as well be… if I don't find a suitable date, my father is going to make me sit through so many marriage interviews," groaned Weiss. "They're such a bore! Always 'my family owns this' or 'my family owns that' and it's like a ladder company or something! Ladders! Do you know what kind of nightmare I'd be living if I ended up Weiss Schnee Ladderstepper?"

"You could always do worse, I guess," Blake causally replied.

"Yes! But a date! If I have a date and convince my father he's my boyfriend, I won't need to go to those blasted interviews! Isn't it perfect?"

"Sounds like a reasonable plan," said Blake. It wasn't in her opinion but it made Weiss happy. "So what's your bare minimum and essentials? Let's start with that before you start getting all picky."

Weiss sat up and stroked her chin.

"Definitely going to need a good bloodline… a respected family name," murmured Weiss.

"Uh huh," said Blake who tried to return to her book. But her mind drifted off to her '_master_'.

"Someone obedient… at least we can train him to shut up on command in my father's presence and let me do all the talking…"

"Sounds good so far," said Blake, who wasn't really paying attention. Blake was imagining her master's fingers running through her hair, between her ears and his delicate touch.

"And someone so utterly hopeless, they wouldn't have a date otherwise and be so desperate to go out with me and obey my every whim and command… a certain doofus," said Weiss rubbing her hands together deviously.

In the midsts of her fantasy, Blake's bow twitched.

"Weiss… you don't mean…?"

Weiss smiled, "He's perfect for the job!"

And what that, Weiss stood up, went across the hallway and knocked on the door of Team JNPR ignoring the protests coming from Blake.

Jaune opened the door, surprised to see the heiress.

"Weiss?"

Giving Jaune a huge smile, Weiss puffed up her chest before presenting her proclamation.

"I, Weiss Schnee, hereby bestow upon you, Jaune Arc, the most prestigious and sought after honor of escorting me to the Spring Equinox Dance." Weiss' eyes were closed in triumph but her ears did not hear cries of joy. "What? You should be grateful I'm giving you an opportunity of a lifetime."

"Get in line," said an exhausted Jaune who pointed a thumb back into the room at two figures sitting on his bed.

"Hello Weiss Schnee," said Velvet with a sly smile.

"Hello again!" Pyrrha waved.

* * *

_It is not enough that my ship sails, all other ships must burn._

**_Chapter Two Fin_**


	3. A Day with Weiss

**The Spring Equinox Dance**

**RWBY**

_**Chapter Three**_

_**A Day with Weiss**_

**Genre :**_Romance/Humor_

**Summary : **_After an academic meeting with Goodwitch discussing his poor grades, Jaune contemplates leaving Beacon. However, Ozpin offers him a chance to prove his worthiness to stay enrolled. Jaune must overcome his challenge by the Spring Equinox. Obstacles from teammates to former friends threaten his task: capturing the most dangerous of hunts, a date to the school dance._

* * *

Weiss drew the winning lot but Jaune wasn't her escort to the dance. _Yet_, Weiss thought on the private Schnee airship.

"So… nice ship," Jaune nodded as he felt the leather seats and silk carpets. "Definitely a nice ship. It's got wings and seats and inflight peanuts. It's good to see we're sailing." Jaune looked around the interior of the plane, doing his best to avoid direct eye contact with Weiss. He's nervous, Weiss observed. Also he was on the verge of puking.

"Pitiful," Weiss sighed.

"H-hey! I'm just not good with ships… say, you got one of those barf bags?" A robotic assistant handed Jaune an air bag. "Wow! thanks!" Jaune said before her barged.

Weiss shook her head. There was still much work to be done to Jaune before he was presentable before her esteemed and demanding father.

"So why did Pyrrha and Velvet ask you to the dance?" Weiss asked.

"Beats me. Girl thing? Probably made a bet or something. Loser probably has to give the other their dessert for the rest of the school year."

"Girls don't make stupid bets like that," Weiss said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey. Yesterday I didn't know girls got jealous but _they do_!"

"Fascinating discovery," Weiss muttered. Sinking into her seat, Weiss looked out the window.

Earlier in the day Pyrrha, Velvet, and Weiss drew lots to see who would be in charge of Jaune while the other two went to see Nora who was currently chained in the boiler room. According to Ren, the most expedient way to free '_Fandango_' from Nora's ownership was to beat her in her a duel. Something which no one has ever done. So it was either that, or let Nora get bored of Jaune which didn't seem like it was going to happen anytime soon.

Either way, the four-way fight to be Jaune's date to the dance needed to be grinded down to three and so they drew lots.

The trio drew lots. Weiss won. Naturally, she thought.

Now her plan could come to fruition.

Yes! Alone with Jaune, I can begin my brilliant plan of '_wooing_' him with my family's wealth and grandeur. He'll be so captivated by all the splendor he'll have no choice but to fall heads over heels for me and he will offer to escort _me_ to the dance!

Then grooming him to be the ideal marriage-interview-repellant can begin.

"Yes… woo him… yes… yes...," Weiss grinned as her hands formed a finger tent. "No more stupid interviews…"

Jaune shifted in his seat uncomfortably.

"I'm going to go use the restroom," said Jaune. Excusing himself, he left Weiss to snicker at the brilliance of whatever it was she was talking to herself about.

Finishing his business in the restroom, Jaune washed his hands and walked past the kitchen where he heard the refrigerator rumbling.

"What's that?" Jaune wondered as he stood in front of the refrigerator. Jaune opened the refrigerator and saw Ruby shivering in the cold between the meats and dairy.

"J-J-Jaune!" Ruby rubbed her arms for warmth and stepped out of the refrigerator. "Th-th-thanks! I a-app-a-app-appreci-_achoo_!" Ruby sneezed.

"Ruby? What are you doing here?"

Still shivering, Ruby explained. "I-I-I s-saw y-you and W-Weiss g-get on the sh-ship and I-I wa-wanted to s-see where it was go-go-ain-a..._achoo_!"

"Guessing you stole aboard in the refrigerator?"

Ruby smiled.

"Yup!" Ruby said before another sneeze. "So wh-what are you doing here with Weiss?" Ruby leaned closer, her eyes intense. "Are you on a date with her?" It was more of an accusation than a question.

Jaune shrugged.

"Weiss said she was going to her vacation home for a day and wanted someone to tag along. She also told me I must absolutely not contact anyone from my team for the duration of the trip. Or else I'll freeze you to a pole or turn my bathtub into a glacier… you know how Weiss is, being an ice queen and everything."

Ruby was busy helping herself to some hot chocolate from the airship kitchen. Once the hot stuff reached her lips, colored returned to her face and Ruby let out a soft moan of satisfaction.

"That hit the spot!" Ruby cheered. Whip cream had formed on over his upper lip, like a mustache.

"Jaune? Where are you?"

"Uh, I'm here in the kitchen-ow! What was that for?" Jaune looked at a glaring Ruby.

"We can't let Weiss know I snuck aboard!"

"Why not? Aren't you guys teammates?"

"Yeah but I read her diary. She's one of my biggest riva-"

"Jaune. Who's that?"

Weiss stood at the doorway, her arms crossed. Her head slightly tilted and eyes narrowed. Pale and white, Jaune could feel the air chill. Ruby felt her hot chocolate turn into just chocolate.

"Oh this?" Jaune looked at a whipped-cream-mustached Ruby. "This is…"

"My name's Rub-...Rub-...Ruben. My name is Ruben. Yes, my name is Ruben. I am sticking with that one."

"This is my crazy uncle from my mom's side," Jaune explained with exaggerated hand movements. "You know how those crazy uncles can be! Always drunk during the holidays and gives you piledrivers on your birthday. Then they run off with that sweet girl who works at the local diner and then-_bam!_- before you know it. Cousins. Dozens of them."

"Y-yeah! That's me, Ruben. Jaune's crazy uncle. I've got dozens of kids with girls down from the local diner. Even a few from the local deli. I just can't stop calling up the ol' stork if you know what I mean! Ho ho ho! But Jaune's my favorite nephew, that he is! Ho ho ho! He's a big ol' boy now, Ho ho ho!" Ruby's voice became several times more deeper and had an aura of the jingle bell holidays. Jaune brought a hand to his face. There's no way Weiss would buy this.

"If you're going to invite someone onto my ship, then ask for permission first," Weiss sighed. "You know how hard it is to get people security clearance before they can board a Schnee Dust Company airship?"

"What? Weiss, are you serious?"

Ruby poked Jaune and leaned towards his ear.

"Jaune… I think it worked!" Ruby said in a low voice. Her whip-cream mustache tingling with excitement.

Weiss scoffed. "We'll be arriving soon." Weiss disappeared into the hallway before peeking out. "And don't take my hot chocolate without asking! Stupid uncles..."

"I still can't believe that worked."

Ruby sniffled. "My hot chocolate…" Ruby pulled out a cylinder shaped piece of solid chocolate from her mug. "It's just chocolate now!"

"Come on, _Ruben_," Jaune sighed and dragged a sad Ruby, now Ruben, to the passenger cabin.

"You know. This hot chocolate-chocolate ain't half-bad!" Ruby said as she munched on the chocolate. "Want to try some?"

The airship landed on a private getaway vacation home of the Schnee family, Schnee Summer Isle.

"This island is amazing!" Jaune looked at the tropical palm trees, nice sandy beaches, and clear ocean water. "It's like a resort island."

"It used to be a resort island," Weiss said. "But it wasn't making enough money and so my father decided to just scrap it into a private vacation home instead of selling it off."

Ruby stared at the coconuts floating at the water.

"C-can I… can I have one?" Ruby poked at the coconut floating on the sand. "Uncle Ruben would like a coconut. Yes! Yes I would! Ho ho ho?"

Weiss raised an eyebrow and tried to control her look of disapproval.

"Do whatever you want," Weiss said. Ruben cheered happily as she plucked up a coconut and named it '_Wilson_'. Ruben's white mustache jiggled with happiness. Weiss stood beside Jaune and whispered, "your uncle's a freak."

Jaune shrugged nervously. "Can't choose family am I right?"

Weiss looked down at the stand.

"I guess you're right," Weiss said sadly before walking towards the huge white vacation tower that would serve as their getaway home from Nora.

"What's got Weiss so down, ho ho ho?" Ruby asked as Weiss climbed up the stone steps.

"I understand girls about about as well as I get projectile calculus."

"But you have an F in projectile calculus. Are you saying you don't understand girls? Is that what you're trying to say? Please tell me! I wanna know the inside joke!"

Jaune looked at Ruby's innocent eyes. "Yes, Ruby. Yes. I don't understand girls."

Ruby smiled and tapped Jaune's head with Wilson the coconut.

"It's okay! I don't understand boys either," Ruby said as they walked up the steps. "Like, what's the deal with no dresses? I rather enjoy the freedom and that slight breeze on those warm summer days. Ho ho ho!"

"You don't need to 'ho ho ho' around me. Just Weiss."

Ruby looked down sadly.

"But it's so fun. Ho ho ho…"

Jaune decided to leave Ruby alone on that boat. Whatever floats her boat, Jaune figured.

When they arrived, they found a plethora of maids who offered Jaune and Ruby, disguised as Ruben with a whip cream mustache, a variety of swimsuits as Weiss wanted to go down to the beach.

Jaune chose something simple.

Ruby chose a striped onesie with a wooden plank.

Weiss arrived, dressed in an elegant white one-piece swimsuit with a simple snowflake emblem over her chest.

"Wow." Jaune murmured before getting a sharp elbow from Ruby.

"Ho ho ho," Ruby said as she saw Weiss in her simple yet strangely erotic attire. "Don't stare," Ruby hissed. "_Pervert_!" Ruby held Wilson closer to her chest. "But damn do you look good, Weiss! Ho ho ho!"

Weiss cringed from the compliment from Uncle Ruben.

"Thanks, Uncle Ruben… but please stop drooling. Could you go off to the sea with Wilson or something?" Weiss suggested. She was legitimately creeped out by the display.

"Aye aye, Cap'n Weiss! Ho!" Ruby cheered as she grabbed Wilson and ran out to sea to frolic in the salty ocean waves and white foamy stuff.

"Why does your uncle wear a striped onesie bathing suit with a wooden plank inside?"

"He talks to a coconut and you're surprised he prefers onesies?"

"Touche."

Feeling the need to sit down, Weiss clapped her hands together. A small company of mechanized servants arrived and began constructing her personal beach station. Robotic aids began erecting an umbrella and laying down a large beach towel complete with a picnic basket, water coolers, and everything else a beach party would need.

Automated sand-castle-constructors built a small replica sand castle of Schnee Tower, complete with emblem, beside the Weiss' station.

"That's amazing," Jaune said.

"Want a Schnee Frozen Banana?" Weiss offered Jaune, a banana, dipped in white chocolate, on a stick. "I've always told my father there's a lot of money in opening up a chain of frozen banana stands."

"I'm good," said Jaune. "I think I'll go swim. Are you coming?"

"Me? Swim?" Weiss looked at Jaune with a confused look.

"You don't swim?"

"Would you swim at the beach…?"

"Because there's… water?" Jaune gestured to the vastness of the ocean.

"How filthy. Who knows how many people and _animals_ have been in there! Ugh! Utterly filthy!"

"Wait." Jaune had a moment of clarity. "So you're telling me you have this gigantic vacation home and you've been going here probably for most of your life and you've never once went down to the beach to _swim_?"

"I thought you go down to the beach to try out swimsuits and sit in the shade?"

"You. You are swimming." Jaune declared with a bit of backbone.

"What? Hey! Stop pulling me! Ah! Hot hot hot!" Weiss tip toed through the hot sand as her feet left the coolness of the temperature controlled beach towel. "Where are we going?"

Jaune pulled Weiss to look him into his eyes.

"Look at me."

"O-Okay?"

"No no. Look at me. Look at me!" Jaune took in a deep breath. "This ship is sailing. Got it? And I don't care what some guy named after a unit of length wrote for episode three of a certain volume. I am the captain and this ship is sailing."

"But-"

"We. Are. Sailing. Got it, Weiss? You're on Jaune Arc's boat now." Jaune pulled Weiss into towards the water. "Now go forth and swim!"

Jaune tossed Weiss in the ocean when Ruby approached beside him.

"Can Weiss swim?"

"Sure she can. Everybody can swim."

"You sure? It looks like she's drowning."

"She's totally fine! She's an Ice Queen. Ice Queens definitely know how to swim."

"Walk on ice maybe… but isn't Weiss screaming for help? It looks like the tide is taking her out into the open ocean. Now she's holding onto a piece of driftwood. Wait, no, never mind. There goes the driftwood. You sure you shouldn't be going out to save her?"

"She's totally fine, Ruby," said Jaune. "Trust me. This is how I learned to swim."

"Did you almost drown the first time?"

"Well yeah but-" Jaune then realized his mistake. "Weiss! I'm coming for you!" Grabbing Wilson, Jaune jumped into the ocean and swam at high-speeds towards Weiss. Handing her Wilson to use as a flotation device, Jaune apologized profusely.

"You idiot! Moron! I could have _died_!"

"Or worse, I would have had to give you mouth to mouth."

Weiss glared.

"Don't even joke," Weiss scoffed as she caught her breath. Clutching Wilson tightly in one arm, she held onto Jaune's shoulder with the other as he swam towards shore. "I hate the ocean…"

"Would you prefer if it was frozen?"

"I hate frozen oceans the worst!" Weiss yelled as they arrived on shore. "Bah! I wouldn't swim in an ocean ever again even if I was stranded and forced on Neptune!"

Jaune sighed. "I guess that's a ship that won't ever sail…"

Returning to the vacation home, tower, or whatever it is that the Schnee family calls the building they inhabit during their summer vacations, the trio enjoyed dinner. After dinner, Weiss offered Ruben and Jaune use of the mountain hot springs.

"They're absolutely lovely. And it refreshes the soul and body," Weiss suggested. She began pushing Jaune and Ruben into the male changing room. "Please, enjoy yourselves."

Slamming the door on the boy's changing room, Weiss locked it.

"Did Weiss just lock us in here, ho ho ho?"

"That she did, Uncle Ruben. That she did."

"So… are we going to have to change in here?"

"Yes, Uncle Ruben. That is what changing rooms are for."

Ruby leaned closer to Jaune. "You remember I'm not a boy right? I'm a girl? I have girlie things I can't let boys see or else I'll get pregnant? I don't want storks flying over to my dorm room! How am I going to explain it to the rest of my team!?"

Jaune looked at Ruby. "Who told you that?"

"Yang. My mother. My dad. Ms. Goodwitch when I asked her where babies come from…"

Jaune sighed.

"You look cute without showing any skin so I guess it doesn't matter."

Ruby blushed.

"Really nephew? You're so sweet!"

"You know you're not really my uncle, right?"

"Oh… ho ho ho… that's right," Ruby said sadly. "We aren't related… _yet_."

"What was that last part? Nevermind, I smell. I'll go change over in that corner…" Jaune pointed over to an empty corner. "I promise I won't look."

"Make sure you don't! And trust me! Everyone will know once the storks start flying and tapping their funny little beaks on my window."

Ruby and Jaune undressed silently in their corners. Jaune was not embarrassed about changing in front of girls. If getting hung upside down by the underwear was embarrassing enough during primary school in front of the entire student body, nothing was. Ruby on the other hand changed quickly and anxiously. Stuffing her clothes and undergarments into a box and wrapped a towel around herself.

Entering the bath, Jaune and Ruby avoided eye contact. Jaune looked at the pleasant ceiling and night sky of the open air bath. It was a rectangular shaped bath with marble flooring and tiles. On the wall there were moisture-proofed paintings probably by some famous, dead artist. Ignoring the scenery and majesty, Ruby looked at Wilson who she clutched to her chest.

"Are you seriously bringing a coconut in with you to the bath?"

"Got something against coconuts?"

"No… but isn't it kind of weird? Do coconuts even need baths?"

Ruby thought for a moment.

"Yes!"

"I… never mind." Jaune chose wisely not to contest Ruby's logic.

Ruby decided to head into the bath first. Dipping a toe into the water and finding the temperature suitable, she submerged herself, towel and all, into the soothing waters. Jaune looked at her from behind, a small and frail pale body entering the water. So moist…

"You aren't staring at me, are you?"

Jaune woke up from his fantasy. "N-no. Absolutely not."

Entering the bath, he made sure to stay as far from Ruby as possible.

"This my first time in such a large bath, you know?"

"Mine too. This bath is probably bigger than any swimming pool I've been to," Jaune mused.

"You went swimming a lot, I imagine?"

"My grandfather had a habit of throwing me out to the woods. Literally throwing me out and seeing how long I can last. My record was about an hour before I realized I had no idea how to cook an acorn."

Ruby giggled. "How did it taste? Was it… _corny_!? Get it!? Okay, yeah, I know that was bad," Ruby sighed. Bringing her pale legs up to her toweled chest, she submerged her lips below the water and blew a few bubbles. "Yang and I used to take baths too."

"Oh? How was that?" Jaune asked without thinking.

"Well, Yang's butt kept getting bigger so we couldn't fit in the tub anymore. But it was nice to have someone wash your back for you."

"Really? What's that like?"

"Yang's butt? It was soft as a… Oh! Oh! You mean the back washing! Haha! It feels soooo good! It's like you're getting someone to scratch all those itches in all the right places but instead of a backscratcher it's with warm water and a sponge." Ruby's eyes went glassy with memories. "It felt soooo good. Almost as good as milk and cookies after coming out of a hot bath."

"Sounds pretty good. I think I'll ask Ren to wash my back."

"You guys are such good friends!" Ruby smiled before looking down into the water. "Say, Jaune. Do you trust me?"

"That's a funny question, of course I trust you."

"Th-then… do you mind if you could… wash my back?"

"Wh-what?" Jaune looked back and looked at Ruby's face. Her eyes full of determination and the whip-cream mustache slowly melting away into the bath water. Ruby's hands were tightened around her towel, careful to not allow Jaune any potential, and very welcomed, sight.

"H-hey! Don't look!" Ruby splashed water into Jaune's eyes.

"My eyes! It burns!" Jaune clutched his eyes. "There was soap in the water! Soap in the bath water! Gah! Why does it have to burn!?" Ruby released the grip on her towel and and brought her hands to Jaune's face trying to wipe off the soap. The towel slide off her small frame and gently drifted into the vastness of the bath.

"Sorry!" Ruby did her best to wipe off the soap from Jaune's eyes.

"My vision's coming back," said Jaune as he slowly opened his eyes before receiving a slap to the face. "Ow! What's that for!?"

"Keep 'em closed! My towel! Where did my towel go… ho ho ho…"

There was a knock on the bath door.

"Jaune, Uncle Ruben. This is Weiss, I'm coming in."

"Weiss!?" Ruby cried as she slipped behind Jaune. Pressing against his back, Ruby did her best to hide her face and body from Weiss' who approached slowly. Her eyes scanning the room.

Dressed in a bathrobe, Weiss looked over Jaune carefully and eyed a figure hiding behind him.

"Weiss! This is the boy's bath! What are you doing?" Jaune covered his chest with his arms. "I'm not decent, woman! I need my privacy!" Jaune squealed and splashed water towards Weiss.

A few stray droplets hit Weiss' unamused face.

"You look decent enough. Uncle Ruben?"

"Ho ho ho! Here I am! I'm very shy about the bath! Ho ho ho!" Ruby did her best as she pressed against Jaune's back harder. Wishing she'd disappear.

Jaune, for his credit, did his best to ignore the softness being pressed against his back.

"Is that so? Mind if I join you?" Weiss walked over the bath ledge. "It'd be a nice change of pace to bath with others."

"No! Boys and girls should take baths separately!" Jaune as Weiss shrugged and removed her bathrobe. "W-Weiss!" Jaune cried and covered his eyes, leaving a tiny slit to peek through. "That's completely inappropriate! "

"This?" Weiss said boredly.

"W-Weiss," Jaune said as his hands sunk into the bath water and he stared.

Weiss was wearing a swimsuit. It was selected from a _Vacuo's Secret_ catalog (The secret is that Vacuo is actually an oasis paradise with lush greens and water and not a wasteland of howling winds and barbarian raiders). A two piece and revealing white slips of cloth with snowflake emblems and buttons adorning it.

"So what do you think? Ravishing?" Weiss began striking a series of poses taken straight from generic pin-up girl photo shoots.

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Oh."

"That's it?"

"It's okay."

"That's it? It's okay? A girl shows you how she looks in her bathing suit and starts giving you a bunch of suggestive poses and all you can say is 'oh' and 'it's okay'? No-scratch that-not just any girl but the most beautiful heiress and daughter of the Schnee Dust Company. Wearing the most expensive fashionable swimwear money can buy. And it's just 'okay'? Are you a moron? Do you have even a semblance of tact?"

"But yeah, in my opinion, it's okay."

"You aren't impressed!? Not even a tiny bit!?"

"Well after tonight I can confidently say I'm not very impressed with bathing suits." Ruby gave Jaune a sharp elbow into the spine with a hush. "Yes, I was referring to your bathing-_or lack thereof_," Jaune hushed back in a low voice.

"Rude!" Ruby hissed.

Weiss narrowed her eyes before a realization dawned on her.

"Wait! C-could it… you want to see my b-b-bi-bir-birthday suit!?"

"The standards have been set high Weiss. I doubt it would impress me at this point."

"I want to see it! Ho ho ho," said Ruby from behind Jaune.

"Gah! Perverts! Both of you!" Weiss stormed out of the bathing room. In the hallway, Weiss screamed, "and you can die in a fire for all I care, Jaune Arc!"

"I think she's mad at you. Do you think she's mad at you? I totally think she's mad at you." Ruby observed with a, "yup yup."

"She also thinks we're both perverts," Jaune sighed. "But at least she didn't join in."

"Correction. She thinks Uncle Ruven is a pervert. I, Ruby Rose, however am still as pure as the driven snow!"

Jaune looked over his shoulder at Ruby before turning red and facing forward again. Well, Jaune thought, at least now he doesn't need to imagine what Ruby is hiding underneath all that red and black frills and spare sniper rifle cartridges.

"Say that after you get your towel back."

"Gah! Pervert!" Ruby gave a hard elbow to the shoulder blade.

After the bath, Jaune walked to bed nursing his back still sore from Ruby's strikes against his spine. He had applied ointment but nothing seemed to do the trick as he still felt a creak everytime he walked. His back was aching.

Ruby had vanished off somewhere, supposedly picking up the scent of cookies.

Finding his room, Jaune entered the spacious accommodations, paid little heed to how many man hours went into crafting the amazing wooden best post or the thousands of Faunus sweatshop workers who poured their paws into the intricate silk bed spread, and plopped down.

"This is so nice… and it smells so good," Jaune mumbled.

But his back still hurt.

A knock came at Jaune's door.

"Jaune? It's Weiss. Can I come in?"

"Sure," Jaune mumbled half-asleep. "Ow ow ow. My back…" Weiss approached the bed and sat beside Jaune who was laid down. His hands rubbing his back. "My back hurts so sorry if I can't sit up to greet you. Whatcha need, snow angel?" Jaune mumbled the last few parts with severe sleep deprivation slurring his pronounciation.

"Nothing," said Weiss. "Just making sure you're comfortable."

"I'm totally great. Except for the back," said Jaune as he reached for some more ointment on the table. "I think I'll just rub some more of this on my back and then go to sleep."

"Are you capable of that?" Weiss offered.

Jaune's was laying face flat on his bed, his arms doing their best to reach his back. "I think I'll need some help." A drowsy Jaune continued with a sleepy-sounding slur, yeah… that'd be great…"

Weiss sighed.

Guess it can't be helped.

Weiss removed Jaune's shirt as he began fading out of consciousness. His back was rough. Weiss poured some ointment over it and worked it into his back with her palm.

She loosened what tension she could and undid knots in his muscle. Jaune groaned in relief as his back began cracking and muscles began loosening.

"You should be happy I'm doing this for you…"

"Thank you Weiss-y…" Jaune began snoring.

When she finished with her work, Weiss wiped some sweat from her brow and looked at hi sback for a long time before leaving, a question still puzzling her mind: did Jaune always sleep with a coconut in his room? Weiss shrugged it off thinking it another quirk of Jaune Arc before closing the door and whispering, "nitey nite."

Weiss and Jaune found Ruby in the morning at the pantry, surrounded by spent milk cartons and the entire islands cookie supply exhausted.

"Ruby, wake up." Nudging Ruby with her toes, Weiss looked with disapproval at her team captain.

"M-morning Weiss," said Ruby with a yawn. "Weiss! I had the greatest cookie buffet last night. It was so magic-cal… Oh. Oh… Oh! I mean! Good morning Weiss! Ho ho ho! This is Uncle Ruben!" Ruby grabbed a nearby bottle and frantically tried to spray whip cream on her face to reform the mustache.

Weiss brought her palm to her face.

"Ruby, I know it's you. It was a terrible disguise and you should feel bad."

"Ho ho… oh…" Ruby did feel bad. "I thought I fooled you…"

"A whip cream mustache! Seriously! Do you think I'm braindead!?"

"I thought it worked. Nice try, Ruby," Jaune said with a pat on her back.

Ruby sniffled. "I thought I was a master of disguise…"

Shortly after Ruby had awoken from her cookie coma, the trio returned to Beacon, having evidently forgotten why they had came in the first place.

As the Beacon skyline became visible, everyone on board realized an epic confrontation had just occurred. Craters and destruction where everywhere and Ms. Goodwitch ran about screaming at the custodians to do their work while she herself did her best to restore the general architecture.

"What happened there?"

"Another food fight," Weiss lied. Weiss couldn't let Jaune know of the intense war being waged to be his date to the dance. "Ruby, take Jaune straight to the dorms."

"Aye aye, Weiss! Come on! Let's go Jaune!"

"M-my Fandango!" Nora cried when she saw Jaune. Ren did her best to console her.

"Hey Nora!" Ruby smiled as she held Wilson close to her chest.

Nora looked at the coconut in Ruby's arms and snatched it from her gasp before shattering it on the concrete. "_Fandangoooo_!"

"Wilson!" Ruby cried. "No!"

Ruby held the shattered remains of Wilson. Broken brown shards of coconut skin, white lumpy flesh of coconut flesh in a puddle of coconut milk.

"He's dead, Ruby." Weiss put a hand on Ruby's shoulder for comfort.

Ruby sniffled. "I-I know… I knew this day would come… but why did it have to so soon! He was so young! Ho ho ho!" Ruby sobbed.

"What's up with her?" Yang, dirty and battered, asked as she popped an arm back into her socket. With her arm re-socketed, she lift Jaune by the cuffs of his shirt. "Did you have anything to do with it!"

Jaune shook his head. "No ma'am!"

Yang scoffed before dropping him.

"See to it you don't," said Yang as she approached the red and white pair. "Howdy."

Weiss surveyed the massive destruction around Beacon.

"Seeing Nora's reaction, doesn't seem like she won so I'm guessing you're the winner, Yang?"

"Nope," Yang spat out a bullet she had caught earlier in her teeth. "I have no idea why they were fighting. I just thought there was a good match going on but then Nora knocked me good before Pyrra threw me under the bus."

"What did Pyrrha do to you?" Weiss asked.

"No no no," Yang shook her head. "I mean she literally threw me under on a road before redirecting a tour bus on me with her polarity." Yang cracked her back. "Bunch of screaming kids started throwing popcorn and corn kernels at me," she said as she plucked a few from her hair. "Man, I'm going to need to comb this out before birds start building nests."

"So Pyrrha won?"

Yang shook her head and pointed towards a giant mud pit off to the side. "She somehow got stuck in a giant mud pit trap some laid a while back before getting pelted with rotten eggs."

A egg-soaked Pyrrha's head could been seen in the pit.

"Hello again!" Her voice said from a far. "Can someone please dig me out?"

"So… Did Velvet win?" Weiss deduced by process of elimination.

"She got pinned to a tower with a spear from Pyrrha."

"Can someone let me down now? I'm kind of afraid of heights!" Velvet's voice echoed from a top a a Beacon tower. "Pretty please?"

"Wait," Weiss wondered. "If it wasn't you or Pyrrha or Velvet or Nora… who won?"

A shadowy figure waited as Jaune entered the dorm room. The rest of his team were still outside. Ruby said her goodbyes to Jaune and gave him a hug before running off across to the hall to her room. Ruby was squealing with delight and Jaune had a goofy look in his face from being touched by a girl.

The shadow felt a tinge of anger.

Jaune sighed. He began removing his armor and clothing.

The shadow watched. The shadow knew this was wrong.

Time to make her presence known.

A black ribbon whipped out from the shadows towards a shirtless Jaune. The black ribbon tied its way around Jaune's neck, resembling a leash a master puts upon a dog. The leash tightened and dragged Jaune by the neck towards darkness' loving embrace.

"B-Blake?"

She pulled Jaune's face to hers. Their noses inches apart and Blake's ample bosom pressing against Jaune's bare chest. He could smell her breath; it was wild. It was a blossomy flavor. He could see the smoothness of her skin devoid of blemish. Perfectly smooth, perfectly pale.

Jaune stared into the amber eyes of his new owner.

"You are my animal," said Blake in a low growl. "_My only animal._".

"Blake, you're hurting me," Jaune said as he struggled for air. Blake's whip was tight around Jaune's neck as it dug into his skin. Blake loosened her grip when she realized her mistake.

"Ah! Oh so sorry!" Blake apologized before continuing in a soft voice Jaune could barely hear. "M-_maste_r…"

* * *

**Author Notes:**_ Lighter on the Weiss because I'm burnt from the JaunexWeiss shipping one-shots so this is more of filler for Ruby. Also sorry if anyone was offended by the humor tag in Ruby's Addicted to Kisses. AT LEAST I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY... ;_; _

_It is not enough that my ship sails, all other ships must burn._

_**Chapter Three Fin**_


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